To Know Pain
by Depraved Sociopath
Summary: Ranma's mute. He's also scarred, both physically and mentally. How will this change the Ranmaverse?
1. Introduction

Okay

Okay. I was reading the Ranma 1/2 manga, and I got to thinking "What if Ranma couldn't speak? He wouldn't be able to insult Akane, then." That reminded me of a fic where Akane couldn't speak, so I got uneasy. I didn't want to look like I was ripping off someone else's idea. (More than I already did, of course. ^_^ ) But I decided to write it anyway. I had a two-hour wait 'till my train arrived, then another seven to ten-hour train ride, so I literally had nothing better to do. Besides, the idea just wouldn't leave me alone. It would change a lot in the Ranmaverse, ya know? Here goes...

Crap. Almost forgot something. I own nothing, and all credit goes to Rumiko Takahashi. She's the genius, not me. I'm just a con artist. ^_^

*****

Hi.

Bringing Ranma from China.

Saotome

The patriarch of the Tendo family.

The pillar of strength for the Tendo daughters.

The weeping, shaking man holding a postcard.

"Oh, how I've waited for this day!" exclaimed Soun Tendo, father of three beautiful daughters.

He called for his daughters, wanting to share with them the wonderful news that he had received.

When they were all gathered at the table, Soun began.

+++

Soun was interrupted when it was mentioned that he wanted one of the three girls to marry his friend's son.

"Fiancée?"

"Yes," Soun explained, "he is named Ranma Saotome. His father says he is a good boy."

"You mean you've never met him?" asked Nabiki with an eyebrow raised.

"Heh heh heh…no." Nothing was said as Soun withered under the glares of his daughters.

Finally, Nabiki spoke, ending the hostile silence. "So, what CAN you tell us about him, then?"

"Well, he's recently been in China."

Kasumi and Akane frowned as Nabiki exclaimed "Wow! China!"

"Yes, China. Also, he's been practicing martial arts since he was very small."

"Speaking of which, father," interjected Kasumi, "just how old IS he?"

"Yeah. Is he cute?" Nabiki seemed quite excited by the prospect of a fiancée.

"Just how good at martial arts is he?" added Akane.

Before Soun could deny knowledge on any of the subjects his daughters had asked about, a knock came from the front door. "Oooh! That must be Ranma!" squealed Nabiki as she and her father rushed to greet the men. Akane and Kasumi strolled lazily behind them, not in any particular rush to meet the boy. When the door opened, however, there were a panda bear and a young girl standing in the rainstorm that had suddenly sprung up instead of their anticipated guests.

"Oh! I'm sorry, we were expecting someone else. Can I help you?" Soun smiled and waited for the girl to answer his question.

The panda held up a sign that said 'Do you have some hot water that.' It then flipped the sign, revealing the rest of the message. 'you could spare us, please?' Before Soun or Nabiki could decline, however, Kasumi cheerily said "Of course! Please, come in! You must be awfully cold out there!"

The eldest Tendo female ushered the pair of figures into the house and closed the front door. "Akane dear? Could you go start some water boiling? Nabiki, could you go get some towels?"

Before the family's only protection left the room, Nabiki hastily said, "No, why doesn't daddy go start the water? Akane should keep them company."

"Yeah," added Akane, eyeing the strange girl warily, "I'd prefer to stay in here and get to know them, anyway."

"Okay, then." Kasumi's smile never left her face. As the two Tendos went off on their specific jobs, Kasumi struck up a conversation. "What brings you to Nerima?" 'Traveling to see a friend' read the panda's sign. "That's nice. How long have you been travelling?" Akane's eyes narrowed as the panda again answered. 'About a week.'

"So," Akane asked the girl, "what's your name?" Akane ignored the sign the panda held up, instead looking intently into the girl's eyes. She was a short girl, a little smaller than Akane, and was dressed in black slacks and a black Chinese-style shirt with long sleeves and a high, stiff collar. The girl's hair was a brilliant red, which made the outfit look out of place on her. The redhead held Akane's gaze for a moment, then looked to the ground.

"Akane," said Kasumi before the girl could press her question, "if she doesn't want to talk, don't badger her. She's probably just a little shy." The girl nodded at this, still looking towards the ground. "There, see?" Kasumi's smile never faltered as she said, "Besides, she's gone to all the trouble of training her panda to reply for her. Why would she want to put all that hard work to waste by talking?"

Before Akane could point out to Kasumi that if she would just talk, the trained panda would be unnecessary, Nabiki came down the stairs with three towels in her arms. "Here you go," she said with mock cheer as she handed two towels to the panda and one to the girl. 

Nothing was said for several minutes as the two guests dried themselves off. Then Soun came back into the room and broke the awkward silence. "Here you go." The girl took the proffered kettle and quickly poured some of its contents on the panda, then turned around and poured some on herself. 

Soun fainted.

Akane gasped.

Nabiki widened her eyes.

Kasumi whispered "Oh, my."

The man wrapped a towel around himself.

The boy adjusted his shirt collar before turning around.

The older man bowed towards the Tendos that were still conscious. "Genma Saotome. Pleased to meet you."

+++

Six people sat around the Tendos' dining room table as Genma, the man, explained about Jusenkyo. Strangely, though, Ranma – as the boy had been introduced – didn't speak once. Whenever he was asked a question, his father would answer for him.

After a length of time, Nabiki decided to bring this fact to everyone's attention. "Say, Mr. Saotome, why hasn't your son said anything all evening?"

"Anyway, about the engagement," Genma quickly changed the subject, "which one of your girls wants to marry Ranma?"

"No!" yelled Akane.

Soun, showing uncharacteristic resilience under pressure, covered for his youngest daughter's remark. "What she means is, since there's one of him and three of my daughters, why doesn't he choose?"

"That's not what I meant at-"

Genma cut the teenager off quickly. "Okay. Ranma, choose." Genma patted his son on the shoulder as every eye in the room turned to him, awaiting an answer. Ranma, though, just shook his head no. "Ranma, you've got to choose." Genma gestured to the girls. "Go on, pick one." Ranma exaggerated the shaking of his head no in an almost sarcastic manner. "Ranma…" growled Genma.

"See? He doesn't want it, either!" Akane crossed her arms over her chest. "Let's forget this entire thing."

Genma ground his teeth in agitation. "Ranma, pick!" The boy threw his hands up in exasperation and proceeded to rummage though his travelling pack. From it he pulled a pen and a pad of paper, and he started to write. 

"Oh, you can just tell us, Ranma. No need to be shy," Kasumi smiled. Ranma gave the eldest Tendo sister a blank stare, then returned to writing.

Genma snatched the pad of paper from his son's hands and threw it outside into the rain. "Just choose!"

"Come on, Ranma, just talk to us. This is getting annoying," Nabiki scowled. Ranma moved to retrieve the pad, but Genma threw an angry punch at the boy. Ranma fluidly dodged and threw his father outside, next to the pad of paper. Ranma walked out to where the pad lay and picked it up. Genma, who had been pretending to be unconscious, lashed out with a furious paw strike meant to hit Ranma in the temple. She, however, jumped over the attack and kicked her father in the head with both feet. Ranma used the force of her kick to propel herself back inside the house.

As she was sitting down at the table to write some more on the wet paper, she was tackled by her panda-father, who tried to rip the wet pad from her hands again. Ranma flung her father outside once again, though, and continued to write. 

"Oh, cut the shy crap and SPEAK!" yelled Akane, fed up with the whole situation.

Ranma, after hearing Akane's exclamation, threw the pad and pen onto the table roughly and turned towards the Tendo family. She ripped open the top of her shirt, exposing her neck, and the Tendos gasped.

Running from her collarbone to the upper third of her neck was a patchwork of scars. They mostly appeared in groups of three, except for one more prominent scar that ran vertically down the center of her neck, along her trachea. Other scars, in groups of three and four, could be seen across her upper chest. As the Tendos gaped, Ranma closed her shirt collar and sat down at the table. She wrote one simple sentence on a piece of wet paper.

'I CAN'T talk.'

+++

"How did it happen?" asked Kasumi, still in shock, even after giving Genma enough time to change back to his human form.

"Well," started Genma, "when Ranma was small, he-" Being hit in the face with a soggy pad of paper tends to stop people mid-sentence, and this was no exception. Genma wiped his face and looked at the barely legible message on the paper in front of him. 'Let me talk.' "Fine, but you'd better find some dry paper, first." The boy shook his head as he produced a chalkboard, chalk and an eraser from his pack. "Well, then. Go right ahead." Genma leaned back on his hands and waited for Ranma to begin.

After scribbling for a few moments, Ranma held up the board for the Tendos to see. "'My old man,'" read Nabiki aloud, "'wanted to teach me a martial arts technique called the neko-ken.' What's that?"

"Just some technique I read about in a book," replied Genma off-handedly. Ranma erased what he had written and started writing again. His hands were shaking from the anger he felt at his father's callous dismissal of the technique that ruined his life. 'Some technique, indeed. Because of that damned technique I lost my voice box. Hell, I'm lucky to have escaped with my life!'

"What does he mean, Saotome?" asked Soun, worried.

Genma snorted and waved the question off. "He exaggerates." Ranma's board snapped in half, and everyone turned to look at the enraged boy. He took one half of his board and wrote some words on it. 'This is no time for fiancées. I'm going back to China.'

Kasumi, calm despite the hostile air in the room, asked sweetly "Why, Ranma?" The teenager took the other half of his board and wrote something on it. 'I'm gonna fix one of my two major problems, at least. If I can't be a man who speaks, then I'll at least be a man, not some gender-changing freak.'

"Ranma, that was your own fault! Stop trying to shirk responsibility, my son! I know I taught you better than that!" Genma's cheeks had tears running down them. "Oh, my son! Have I failed in raising you?" Ranma's eyes blazed with intensity as he booted his father outside. Genma hit the stone wall surrounding the property with a sickening thud, then slumped down onto the wet ground. The red of blood could be plainly seen coming from the panda's mouth.

Kasumi put a hand to her mouth. "Oh, my! Will he be alright?" Ranma had to visibly calm himself before erasing the first half of his chalkboard and writing his answer. 'He's had worse. Don't worry about it. He'll be fine.'

Akane chose to speak up. "Ranma, if you don't mind, could you finish telling us about how you…you know…lost your…" Ranma waved his hand to forestall any further comment from the raven-haired teen. 'I guess' read his board when he was done writing. 'It all started with a book my dad bought on an impulse.'

+++

"Wow!" exclaimed Genma. "This book is great! What amazing techniques!"

"What kind of techniques, dad?" asked Ranma, who was walking along side his father. They were in a town somewhere in northern Honshu. 

"Really powerful techniques!" said Genma, which made Ranma smile. 

"Can I learn one?" asked the little boy excitedly.

"Sure!" said Genma, smiling. "Just let me find one that I want to teach you first. We should start off with the most powerful techniques, after all, right?"

"Yeah!

************

"Okay, Ranma, here we go!" Genma tossed his son, who was wrapped in fish cakes, into a pit of cats. 

Starving cats. 

Genma smiled as he heard the carnage below. "This will be good for the boy," he said out loud. "He'll be more powerful than even Happosai if he can master this technique." Ranma's screams echoed from within the pit, and were abruptly cut off and replaced with a gurgling sound. "Ranma?" called Genma. That sound wasn't normal; that sound wasn't right. "Ranma? Are you okay?"

No answer came except for the hissing of cats, so Genma shrugged and walked away to make himself lunch. "If he needed help, he'd call for me," he said to himself as he turned the corner.

**************

Genma looked at the book, shrugged and turned away from the hole. "It says I'm supposed to leave him in there until the cats are dead, and the cats sure aren't dead yet, so…" Genma walked away from the hole where his son lay. "…Dinner and a movie!"

**************

"Ranma!" called Genma. "It's been almost a week, now! Are you gonna kill the cats so you can get out now?" No answer came. "Maybe he's been killed," said Genma to himself with not a little bit of worry. "No, he's too strong for that. I've trained him myself." Genma's pride swelled and he again left his son to go swell his belly.

***************

After a week and a half, Genma was really worried. Ranma was WAY too good to get killed by the cats, and he shouldn't have taken this long to dispatch them, either. "Okay, Ranma, here I come!" called Genma.

****************

"Good lord!" exclaimed the doctor. "What happened?!?" 

Genma handed his son to the doctor, who immediately called for a stretcher, and said "He went missing about a week ago, and just now I found him like this. I'm not sure what happened myself. Is he gonna be okay?"

The doctor quickly examined the boy on the stretcher, then started wheeling him towards the emergency room. "He's been mauled, it looks like, by a group of cats. All the wounds are infected, and his neck has swollen up and almost cut off his oxygen supply. It also looks like he's had a major trauma to the neck. It's infected, so I can't very well see exactly what's wrong without cleaning out the wound, but I'd guess that his trachea is ruptured, and his voice box is damaged, if not gone completely."

A nurse stopped Genma as the doctor wheeled Ranma through two swinging doors. "I'm sorry, sir, but you're not allowed in here. Please have a seat and we'll call you when we find out what's wrong."

****************

"Well, Ranma's lucky to be alive. He lost a lot of blood. I'm amazed he survived for as long as he did, truthfully. The wounds on his body were infected, and the infection had started to spread. We've got him on penicillin right now, which should take care of the infection, but there will be scarring. Too much damage was done and left for too long, really. The infection just made it worse. He'll have scars all over his body: arms, legs, chest, back, everything but his face. He apparently covered his face with his hands, so it's fine. The back of his neck is also okay, probably because he backed up against a wall." The doctor paused and took a deep breath. "Unfortunately, Ranma has suffered a debilitating injury, as well."

Genma grabbed the doctor's arm, holding on with an iron grip. "What do you mean, debilitating injury? Will he still be able to practice martial arts?"

The doctor smiled at the man's reaction. "Yes, his arms and legs are fine. He will be able to run and jump and play just like any other child as soon as he heals. No, what I was talking about was his voice. You see, one of the cats – there was a positive identity on the attacking creature after we found dander in the wounds – scratched his throat deeply, and it got infected rather badly. In fact, that part of his throat was developing gangrene. We caught it before it got REALLY bad, but it got his voice box and his tonsils. They had to be removed. He'll never speak again."

+++

"That's horrible!" exclaimed Kasumi, tears in her eyes. "Why would your father ever do something like that?

Ranma answered slowly, holding up his chalkboard after a half a minute. 'He's always cared more about martial arts than about me.' He held up a finger and erased his board, again writing. After another moment, he held it up for the Tendos to read. 'He is always so intent on what I could be that he's blind to the danger he puts me in. He just wants me to be the best martial artist ever.'

Nabiki's scowl deepened as she spoke. "So what you're saying is that he doesn't care what happens to you as long as you learn martial arts?"

Ranma nodded assent as he erased his board again.

Akane's head was down and her shoulders had started to shake slightly. Soun spoke up, finally. "My friend Genma certainly has changed over the years. I can hardly believe that he could actually do that to his only son."

"Do you think that I am not ashamed of my actions?" came the voice from just outside. 

All eyes in the room turned to look at a now-male Genma standing under the awning, just outside of the rain. "Every day of my life I look at myself and my past actions with disgust and contempt. I have destroyed my son. It's my fault. However, even after I have done such horrible things, I can not bring myself to run away from this challenge. No matter what, I will make my son the best martial artist ever. I must atone for my actions."

The whole room was stunned into silence at this confession from Genma. 

Then the table broke.

Akane stood up, fuming. "I'm still not marrying him, you know! Neither are Kasumi or Nabiki! This just isn't fair, picking our husband like this!"

"Akane, dear," soothed Kasumi, "please calm down. Let's discuss this in a calm, collected manner, okay?"

Akane's wrath waned, if only a little, as she sat down. "Fine. Sorry, Kasumi." Kasumi's smile answered the apology, and Soun interjected.

"Akane, I know this must be hard for you, but the fact of the matter is that our families must be joined – for the sake of the Art, you realize. The Saotome and Tendo schools of Anything-Goes Martial Arts must be united in order to ensure the passing on of the Anything-Goes style as well as the continuation of both our bloodlines." 

Genma picked up where Soun left off. "Not only will this union ensure the passing on of both genetic material and the Art, but it will also fulfill the boyhood dreams of two best friends."

Soun and Genma were crying as Soun spoke again. "Genma and I always wanted our children to marry, so we, the very best of friends, could cement our friendship forever. Would you take that away from an old man, Akane? Would you deprive a dying man his last wish, that his family and that of his best friend be joined forever?" Soun was looking directly at Akane, who said nothing.

"I think I'm gonna be sick," said Nabiki as she mimicked gagging. 

"Stop," chided Kasumi gently.

"So," said Genma, who was the first of the two adults to recover from his 'crying' fit, "now do you see why this must happen?"

"Good," said Soun before his daughter could form a reply. "Then it's settled. Ranma, you shall marry…whomever you choose."

Ranma glanced around the room nervously, like a caged animal waiting for whatever fate would bring unto him.

"Oh, he chooses Akane," smiled Nabiki, placing her hand on her younger sister's shoulder.

Kasumi thought for a moment. Ranma was a bit young for her tastes. Still, she didn't know him, so she couldn't very well pass judgement. "Nabiki, I think he should choose." 

"Then it's settled!" gushed Soun, not even noticing that his oldest daughter had spoken. "Ranma will marry Akane!"

Akane glared at Nabiki, who merely smiled sheepishly in return. Nabiki was going to get a stern talking to.

+++

Genma and Ranma lay on the floor of the guestroom they had been given as sleeping quarters. Genma snored loudly, juxtaposed next to the quietly staring Ranma. His eyes sought out patterns in the ceiling as he thought.

Ranma was engaged. It wasn't that bad, Akane seemed nice enough, but still…engaged? He'd only met her the day before. He'd have to talk to her. Write to her, actually. Tomorrow. What about school? Did pop want him going? He hoped not, school was boring, with the math teachers droning on and on about one little variable thingey, and the English teachers nitpicking about grammar and spelling – Ranma lived in Japan. Why did he have to know English? Stupid class. Stupid language. Still, if Ranma was going, he'd probably be in the same grade as Akane, maybe even the same class. Would she show him around, or would she ignore him? He hated school. So many people to get to know, so many people who avoided him for what he was, disturbed by his scars, creeped out by his silence, all so very horrified of something – anything – even remotely different from themselves. Human nature sucked, with the fear of change and the selfishness and the greed and everything. Ranma hoped Akane would ignore him. He didn't want to have to deal with all the pain of meeting new people again. Still, Akane was kind of cute…

Ranma blushed deeply and closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep.

+++

Ranma smirked as her father splashed into the pond. Insta-panda. 

Genma crawled out of the pond and shook his fur dry, glaring at Ranma the entire time. She smirked and turned to walk inside.

The sign that hit her head read 'where are you going, boy?' She rubbed her head and wrote back, using the pen she kept on a chain around her neck. 'I need to bathe.' She threw it back at her father and went inside before the panda could respond.

Ranma stepped into the changing room and closed the door behind her. Geez, it was warm outside. She hated wearing such high-collared shirts, but there was a functionality to the fashion that she couldn't avoid. She shucked her shirt and pants off, throwing them into the hamper. Crap. A towel. She looked around and found a clean one. That was good; she didn't want to have to get dressed again just to find a towel. She took off her boxers and tossed them into the hamper before grabbing the towel and heading towards the bathroom door. The Tendo home was nice. Not fancy or anything, but nice enough. She caught herself in the mirror, shuddered, and wrapped the towel around her shoulders like a shawl. God, she hated mirrors. She hated anything reflective. She hated her body most of all, though. She hated the fact that it pushed people away, frightened them just by existing. She hated her female body more than her male body, though, because in her male body, at least, there wasn't anything on his chest to amplify the appearance of the scars. But her female body…her female body had breasts. The way the scars ran over them, puckering the flesh, distorting their shapes, giving the nipples an unnatural tilt upward, as if they were two eyes looking for something in the sky…she shuddered again, forcing herself back to the mirror. She shed the towel and gazed at her body. Her breasts were disfigured, her stomach was a patchwork of scars that made it look like it had been char-broiled on a grill, her arms appeared as if they had been cut by barbed wire and left untreated, her legs had the appearance of scratching posts too old and used up to be of any further use. Her neck…Ranma resisted the urge to shatter the mirror, picked up her towel and again moved toward the bathroom. She opened the door and stepped in, closing the door behind her.

Ranma cleaned herself with cold water and slowly descended into the hot tub, savoring the feel of the change back to his original form. He loved hot baths. Not only because they ensured that he was male, but also because they felt so, so good. He could lose himself in the bath for hours at a time. Something occurred to him: who filled the tub? It hadn't been filled last night. Ranma panicked. Someone would be coming in to take their bath, soon. He didn't want anyone to see his body, his ugly, disfigured, abominable body. He stood up abruptly.

Akane opened the door to the bathroom and gasped. She saw Ranma, naked, eyes wide with fear and shame, standing halfway out of the tub. Ranma quickly sunk back into the tub, immersing himself to the neck and facing away from the door. Akane could think of nothing to do, so she just stood there, the image of Ranma's scarred body permanently etched into her mind.

Ranma screwed his eyes shut, why did she have to see, why did she have to see his body, the scars, the horrible, ugly scars that covered his body, she'd hate him now, shun him, ignore him, she hated him, was afraid of him, all because of the scars, his scars, his body. Everyone who saw his body, his scars, ran away, sneered with contempt at him, mocked him with false pity, called him names, why would Akane be any different? The engagement, the possibility for a friend, if even for a short while, gone, because of his scars, his horrible, ugly body and its scars…the towel, where was the towel? It could hide his scars, his disfigurement. He tried to remember where he had put it without opening his eyes and looking for it, for Ranma did not want to see the look of disgust on Akane's face. She had not left the room yet, and he knew it. Suddenly, Ranma heard a voice call his name from just behind him. "Ranma?"

Akane sat down behind Ranma, holding the towel tightly around her body, noting the shaking of his head. It looked like he was crying. She gently reached for his head, hoping to get his attention, but she drew it back. She wasn't sure why she did, but she did. Something about those horrible, horrible scars…she shook that thought out of her mind and softly said, "Ranma?"

Ranma moved with such speed that Akane barely had enough time to realize that Ranma was moving before he was out the door to the bathroom and upstairs in his room.

+++

Genma opened the door to his and his son's room. "Ranma? You've got to go to school, boy." Ranma was sitting on the floor, meditating. "Ranma?" repeated Genma. "You've got to go to school. Hurry up, or you'll be late."

Ranma sighed silently and stood up in one fluid motion. His eyes opened and asked a single question. "Yes, you have to go, son," said Genma. "You need an education. Here," he tossed a schoolbag to Ranma. "This should be all you'll need. You'll need to register today, and get all your classes, but that shouldn't take more than an hour." Genma left the room, leaving the door open. He stuck his head back in quickly. "Oh, Akane and Nabiki will be showing you your way to school today. Don't make them late." And the man was gone.

Ranma sighed, thinking of Akane, thinking of the look of revulsion in her eyes, the revulsion that was always there whenever someone looked at his body.

Ranma's knuckles were white as he gripped the schoolbag tightly in his right hand and went downstairs.

+++

Ranma stared at the ground intently as he followed Akane to school. Nabiki had gone early, saying that she had some business to attend to. Ranma wondered what kind of business a high school junior could have, but kept his proverbial mouth shut. He remembered Akane shooting some hostile glances toward Nabiki that morning at breakfast. Could that have had something to do with it?

Akane glanced back at Ranma, wondering what he was thinking. She was angry, because of what Nabiki had done to her, and about the fact that Ranma had seen her naked, but…Akane shuddered as her anger drained. Those scars…

Ranma kept twenty feet of distance between himself and Akane the entire way to school.

+++

Ranma looked up when Akane broke into a run. She was heading towards the gates to what appeared to be the high school. Why was she running? Then he caught the horde of boys waiting just inside the gates of the school, and he would have gasped if had he the ability. Akane was going to fight them! She was going to get pummeled! 

Ranma sprinted toward the group of boys, but Akane reached them far ahead of him. He could see Akane whirling, punching, kicking, throwing boys in every direction. He stopped just outside the gates to watch. So maybe she wasn't going to get pummeled after all. Still, the odds weren't even close to fair. Soon enough, Akane had finished with the crowd, and she stood, panting, amidst the unconscious forms of her assailants. Suddenly, Ranma caught something out of the corner of his eye, heading straight for Akane's head. He threw his schoolbag, which intercepted the projectile just before it would have reached Akane, who had turned and had apparently intended to catch the projectile, whatever it was. Ranma saw, as his bag hit the school and landed, that the projectile had been a rose. How did whoever threw that thing get it to fly? It wasn't weighted correctly, and it certainly wasn't aerodynamic. A voice rang out from a group of trees a little ways off. 

"Who dares interfere with the courting of the beauteous Akane Tendo?" The voice was prideful and haughty. It seemed like it belonged to a spoiled brat. Ranma looked to the source of the voice and saw a tall boy wearing a hakama and carrying a wooden sword. He was staring directly at Ranma.

"What are you doing?" came Akane's voice. "Don't interfere with my fights!" She was obviously angry at Ranma, for some reason. He hadn't meant to interfere with her fight, but what if that boy had thrown something else, a rock or a shoe or something? Couldn't she see that he was just trying to protect her?

"Cur! Tell me thy name, so that I may challenge thee!" The haughty boy's voice pierced Ranma's thoughts. He started to jog towards his bag, so he could get a piece of paper to write on, but the boy apparently thought Ranma was advancing on Akane, or something, and he rushed in, striking at Ranma's midsection. "You dare to attack the fair maiden, Akane Tendo? When I am speaking to you, no less? Vagabond, whoever you may be, know this: that I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, shall not let this travesty go unpunished!" Ranma easily vaulted over the strike and turned in midair to face his opponent. The boy held his wooden sword at the ready. "Knave, tell me thy name so that we may battle." Ranma moved towards his bag again, intending to comply, when the Kuno kid struck again. Ranma sidestepped to avoid Kuno's lunge and broke into a run, hoping that he could reach his bag before the boy could attack him again. "Hold, coward!" yelled the boy named Kuno. 

Akane watched with anger and confusion. What was Ranma doing? Why didn't he just tell Kuno his name so he could…oh, that's right. Ranma's…disability. Akane realized just why Ranma was going for his schoolbag. "Kuno!" shouted Akane. "Ranma's mute! He can't talk! He's trying to get something to write on so that he can talk to you!"

Kuno stopped as he absorbed this new information, allowing Ranma to fetch paper from his bag and to begin writing on it. "Well, if that be the case, get on with it, knave," snapped Kuno belligerently. Ranma scowled as he scribbled his message onto the paper, handing it to Kuno as soon as he was finished. "'I am Ranma Saotome of the Saotome school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts.' Very well, Saotome, how do you know Akane Tendo?" Ranma scribbled on another piece of paper and again handed it to Kuno, more roughly this time. "'I am staying at her house, not that it's any of your business.' WHAT? Staying under the same roof as the pure and innocent Akane Tendo?" Kuno struck at Ranma, who, for the third time, easily avoided his attack. 

"Stop it, Kuno!" yelled Akane as she approached the pair of boys. "He was right, anyway! It isn't any of your business who stays at my house! Besides, he's only the son of one of my father's friends! It's not like he's staying permanently, or anything!"

Kuno seemed not to hear Akane's words as he slashed indiscriminately at Ranma, who was too busy dodging to counterattack. Finally, Ranma saw an opportunity to strike Kuno, and sent the boy staggering back several feet, clutching his gut. Ranma admired this boy's speed. Ranma was much better than he was, of course, but still, this boy had no small talent. The sword, though, limited his potential. Ranma had always hated fighting with weapons. They told your enemy where the attack was coming from. No matter, though, for Ranma was worried that it might start raining, and wanted to get inside. The clouds overhead were darkening by the minute. He felt the first drop of rain on his hand as Kuno rose his blade to strike again.

Suddenly, he was in the fuzzy grip of his father's panda form, who was heading for a maintenance shed, leaving an unconscious Kuno behind.

+++

Ranma looked at the ground as his father poured hot water over her, triggering the Jusenkyo curse. Ranma adjusted his clothing to fit his male form but continued to stare at the wooden floor of the shed. Akane was saying something about Kuno. "You didn't have to get involved, you know. I can handle him myself." What was wrong with trying to help someone? Did Akane think that helping people was wrong, or something? Ranma didn't care, because he could hear the disgust in Akane's voice as she spoke to him. She had seen his body, and she now hated him, just like everyone else. "Besides, Kuno's a really good fighter! He's known to hold back a little on girls, but when he fights boys, he's tough! You could've gotten hurt!" Ranma almost grimaced at Akane's words. She hated him, despised him for the way he looked. She thought him weak. She thought him fragile. She thought him different from her. And why shouldn't she have thought so? Ranma screwed his eyes shut tightly, willing Akane to just leave. He knew she hated and feared him, and that she wanted to leave. Everyone did. They always would. All because of his scars. "I'd steer clear of him, if I were you." Akane seemed startled at the absence of Genma. "Where'd your father go?" she asked Ranma, who just shrugged his shoulders. He wished that he hadn't taken a bath that morning, because then Akane wouldn't hate him, wouldn't fear him. But he always messed things up. He couldn't just wait until the middle of the night to bathe; no, he had to go and be stupid about it, and now Akane had seen how horrible he really was. "Oh, well," said Akane. "Let's go, Ranma. We're already late, so we don't have to hurry, but we should probably get to class now." Ranma nodded mutely and stood up, his eyes still glued on the ground. Akane's voice…commanding. Why shouldn't she command him? He was different, after all. He was ugly, disfigured, scarred. Ranma walked silently behind Akane, approaching the school building and dreading the stares and hushed whispers that awaited him there as soon as Akane started gossiping about the freak to whom she was engaged.

+++

Ranma's paperwork had taken him less than a half an hour, surprisingly. No one asked him any questions verbally, so Ranma was spared the embarrassment of having to explain, in writing, that he couldn't speak. He had been assigned to Akane's homeroom. Ranma wished to give a derisive snort at that fact, but could not. Akane could at least strip his bones bare quickly, because they were in homeroom together, but still Ranma hated it. He hated the perpetual feeling of loneliness, the constant companionship of sadness and hurt.

Ranma silently opened the door to the classroom, ignoring the still and silent form of Akane, who was standing to one side of the doorway, holding buckets of water. The teacher looked to him, and Ranma stepped inside the classroom, closed the door silently, walked up to him and handed him the note that he had been given. Ranma could feel the stares of the entire classroom on him as he waited for the teacher to finish the note. Ranma wondered how many people Akane had told already. No matter. It would be all over school by that afternoon. "Well, class," started the teacher after he had finished reading the note, "it seems that we have a new student. Everyone, this is Ranma Saotome." Ranma bowed stiffly. "Ranma, tell us a bit about yourself, why don't you?" Ranma hated this part. He fidgeted nervously for a few moments before the teacher again spoke. "Ranma? Tell us a bit about yourself." Ranma hesitated, then started to open his schoolbag, so that he could get a piece of paper out. "No, Ranma," said the teacher gently, "there's no need to take anything out of your bag just yet. Just tell us something about yourself, then you can go and sit down." Ranma rolled his eyes, then pointed to his throat, shaking his head. "You don't wish to speak, Ranma? Well, I'm sorry, but this is kind of a tradition. Please just tell us something about yourself and then you can go sit down, okay?" The teacher was beginning to get annoyed. So was Ranma. None of his previous teachers had been this dense. Ranma let out a silent sigh and started to grab something out of his bag again. "Fine, Mr. Saotome, be that way. Go out into the hall and stand with buckets." The teacher apparently had no patience for smart-asses, although Ranma wasn't being one. "Ms. Tendo, come on back in, and give your buckets to Mr. Saotome here," said the teacher loudly enough for Akane to hear. Akane opened the door and set the buckets down as Ranma trudged over to pick them up. 

"Ranma can't talk, sir," said Akane. "He wasn't being a smart-ass. He just has lost the ability to speak. He was most likely going into his bag so that he could get a piece of paper on which to write something to you." Ranma picked up the buckets and opened the door, stepped outside and closed it again.

"Right, Ms. Tendo. And I've lost the ability to walk."

Akane was surprised. "Really, sensei, he-"

"Sit down, Ms. Tendo, unless you want to see me after school." Akane complied, not able to do anything else.

+++

"So, Mr. Saotome, why is it that on the first day of class you chose to make me angry?" The teacher crossed his arms across his chest and frowned at Ranma. Ranma had had enough for that day. He had never, in his entire life, met someone so ignorant as the teacher sitting in front of him. He reached up to undo the collar of his shirt and heard the teacher gasp. "Ms. Tendo wasn't lying…" was all that the teacher could manage to say as Ranma refastened his collar, picked up his schoolbag and left the room. 

Akane was waiting for him outside the classroom. "What happened?" she asked as she and Ranma walked through the halls of their school. Ranma, of course, was silent. "Well? Say something!" snapped Akane, not used to being ignored. She immediately regretted it, though, when Ranma stopped walking and slumped his shoulders. Akane brought her hand to her mouth. "Oh, Ranma, I'm sorry, it's just that I haven't had a very good day, and, well, I forgot that you couldn't…you know…" Ranma reached into his bag and pulled out a pad of paper. He wrote something on it with his pen necklace and handed it to Akane slowly, deliberately. "'He knows I can't talk, Akane. That's what happened. I'd love to chat with you, I really would, but I have a headache, and I want to take a nap.'" Akane looked at the note again, read the hurt and the sarcasm in Ranma's words. "Ranma, I'm sorr-" She looked up, but Ranma was gone. Tucking the pad of paper into her own schoolbag, Akane started towards home, wishing that she hadn't spoken at all that day.

+++

Akane walked in the door and immediately caught the aroma of cookies baking. She slipped her shoes off and moved into the kitchen. "What are you baking, Kasumi?"

Kasumi looked up and smiled, sweetly. "Just baking some cookies, Akane. How was your day at school?"

Akane frowned. She didn't want to talk about her day at school. "Okay, I guess. Where's Ranma?"

The brown-haired girl looked thoughtful. "Upstairs, I think."

Akane sighed. "Thanks, Kasumi." She exited the kitchen and walked slowly upstairs, trying to form an apology. She reached the top of the stairs and turned down the hallway, stopping at the door to the guestroom, where Ranma and his father were sleeping. She knocked lightly. "Ranma? Are you awake?" A few seconds passed before Akane realized what she'd done. She was coming to apologize to Ranma about forgetting that he was mute and she does it again. Just great. "I'm coming in, Ranma." She opened the door and stepped lightly inside. Ranma was on the floor, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling from his bedroll. "Ranma," started the youngest Tendo sister, "I'm sorry about earlier, and I'm sorry about now. And…" she hesitated. "I'm sorry about this morning, too. I didn't mean to walk in on you like that." Ranma closed his eyes in response. Akane took the hint. "I guess I'll talk…see you later, then." She stepped outside the room and closed the door, wondering just what was going on in Ranma's mind.

+++

Ranma closed his eyes and waited for Akane to leave. What was with this girl? She hated him, Ranma was sure, but she was apologizing? She was different from any other girl he'd ever met. No one had ever apologized to him, before. That was strange, to 'say' the least. She was probably just trying to lull him into a false sense of security, or something, so she could destroy him that much easier when it came time. Yeah, that was what she was doing. Ranma sighed and slowly went to sleep, the pounding headache of earlier replaced by confused thoughts of a girl with long, blue-black hair.


	2. Realization

Nabiki grimaced as she saw Akane walk into her room and close her door. Boy, was she gonna get it… "Nabiki, I think we need to talk." Nabiki winced inwardly. Yeah, she was gonna get it good.

"Listen, Akane, I-" 

Akane cut Nabiki off. "No, YOU listen. You had NO RIGHT to do what you did to me. You could have just ruined my life, Nabiki!" Akane's voice was low, but her words were saturated with anger and hurt. "The fact of the matter is that you just pushed some stranger onto me without even thinking about how I felt! You're my sister, Nabiki! How am I supposed to handle this kind of betrayal from my sister?"

Nabiki took a deep breath. "Akane, I did what I did because I thought…well, I didn't think all that much, which was kind of a problem, but I DID think, whether you believe me or not." Nabiki looked into her sister's eyes and continued. "Akane, I thought that he would be good for you." Before Akane could respond, the older girl pressed on. "You've had unhealthy relationships with boys, Akane. I thought that this might be a good chance for you to learn how to have a real relationship with a man, whether romantic or platonic. Besides, if anything went wrong, I would have - and still will - get you out of it. I have daddy wrapped around my finger, Akane, not to mention half of the population of Nerima." Nabiki smirked. "Do you think that I'd actually let my little sister get hurt?" Akane's eyes told Nabiki that she wasn't so sure, anymore. That hurt a lot more than Nabiki thought it would have. "Akane, if you really want, I'll go downstairs right now and get daddy to switch the engagement to me. I can handle Ranma."

Akane looked into her sister's eyes, searching for the sparkle of contempt that was always there when she lied. She couldn't find it, though, and she said, "No, Nabiki, you don't have to do that. It's just…well…you're my sister, and I was hurt when I thought that you would really just pass him off onto me like that."

Nabiki stood and embraced her sister. "Akane, I'd never just pass something onto you if I didn't have a damn good reason for doing it, and even then only if I could protect you from harm." Akane's arms wrapped around Nabiki's shoulders, causing the older girl to smile a little. "It's my job to look out for my little sister, right?"

Akane nodded and stepped back, her eyes moist. "Yeah." She smiled at Nabiki, then turned and moved to the door. As she reached it and turned the handle, she looked back to Nabiki, saying, "I'm sorry I doubted you, Nabiki."

Nabiki smiled in return. "I'm sorry I gave you reason to doubt me, Akane."

Akane looked genuinely touched by that apology, then left the room, closing the door behind her. 

Nabiki sighed and slumped down onto her bed. Never before had she been so glad to have been born with the ability to think things out. If she had just passed Ranma off onto Akane like that for REAL…Nabiki shuddered at the thought. Yeah, more thinking in the future.

+++

Ranma trudged to school behind the two youngest Tendos. They were talking about him, though they tried to hide it. At least they _tried_ to hide it. Ranma remembered the young faces, taunting him, laughing at him, he remembered the bite of the rocks as they impacted his body, he remembered running, crying…

"So, what do you think of Ranma?" asked Nabiki. She and Akane were walking about fifteen feet ahead of Ranma.

"He's right behind us, you know, Nabiki." Akane glanced back nervously. "We shouldn't be talking about him."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Akane. It's not like he can hear us, or anything. I was just wondering if my little sister had found out anything about her new fiancée."

Akane bristled at that comment, but then she remembered the morning before. She remembered Ranma, naked, getting out of the tub…"Nabiki," whispered Akane.

"Yeah?" mimicked the shorthaired girl.

"The other day…well…I was going to take a bath, and I didn't know that Ranma was already in the tub, and…well…"

"You walked in on him?" exclaimed Nabiki incredulously.

"SSSSHHHH!!!" shushed Akane, blushing furiously. "He'll hear!"

Nabiki couldn't help but smirk. "How did he look? Was he…you know…big?"

"Nabiki!" Akane quickened her pace, blushing a deep shade of crimson.

"Akane, I'm just playing with you. Really, I am. So, what were you going to say?"

Akane slowed her pace to match her sister's, still blushing. "Well…his body…it's…" she shuddered. "It's…his neck…"

"What about his neck? What are you getting at, Akane?" Nabiki asked impatiently.

"His…scars," finished Akane awkwardly. "They're all over his body."

Nabiki said nothing. "…And?"

"What do you mean, 'And?' That's it!"

Nabiki frowned. "Oh. Is that all?"

Akane was taken aback. "Nabiki, I don't think you understand! His body is totally messed up! There are scars everywhere!"

"I figured as much, Akane. I mean, he said that he'd been mauled by cats, right? It's unlikely that they just attacked his neck." Nabiki shrugged. "Didn't it occur to you, too?"

Akane shook her head vehemently. "I don't think you understand, Nabiki. His…he…they're everywhere. It's as if he's been run through a grain thresher, but survived. It's…worse than anything I could have imagined, Nabiki." Akane shuddered again at the thought of Ranma's body.

Nabiki frowned thoughtfully. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yeah," said Akane, nodding. "It's worse."

Ranma walked along, trying to ignore the conversation going on in front of him. He could hear every word they spoke, though he would never let them know that, of course. His head hung low as he thought of his body, the scars so prominent on it. Then he was female, and confused. She looked to her left and saw an old woman with a bucket of water and a ladle washing off the sidewalk. Ranma sighed. She hated when stuff like this happened. Whistling loudly, she got the attention of Akane and Nabiki, who turned around. "What happened, Ranma?" asked Akane as she approached the wet girl. Ranma gestured to the woman with the water and shrugged. "Well, let's get you some hot water, okay? I know where we can get some." Akane took Ranma's hand and started walking away. 

Akane hadn't noticed before, but Ranma's hands had scars on them, too. Ranma must really have had some bad wounds. Akane's hand shivered slightly, but she gripped Ranma's hand tightly to stop the shaking. She could feel Ranma's scar tissue pressed tightly against her hand. She tried not to think of it. "My doctor has his office around here," said Akane. "He'll be able to get you some hot water." Oh, how cold the scars on Ranma's hands were…

"I'll see you later, Akane. You and your fiancée don't be late now, you hear?" Nabiki winked at her sister as she continued toward school.

Akane blushed, but kept her face turned away from Ranma so that she would not see. "Come on, Ranma," she said a bit roughly. "We should hurry."

+++

Akane stopped in front of a doctor's office and said, "Wait here; I'll be right back." Ranma obeyed, hoping that they wouldn't be late for school; she hated it when she walked in late and instantly became the center of attention. All those people staring at her, thinking what a freak she was…Ranma felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned her head, expecting to see something other than a skeleton. The redhead jumped three meters into the air. 

"Oh, excuse me," said the young man holding the skeleton. "Did Betty scare you?" Ranma slowly crawled back inside her skin. "I don't think I've seen you around here, before. What's your name?" The man was nice. Ranma didn't like that, because then she felt compelled to answer him. She started rummaging around in her schoolbag for something to write on, but stopped as Akane came back with a kettle of water.

"Here you go, Ran-" When Akane caught sight of the man she blushed and bowed deeply, spilling the hot water onto Ranma. "Hello, Dr. Tofu."

The man smiled and bowed back. "Why, hello, Akane. How have you been?" Ranma blinked once, then adjusted his clothing. Ranma wasn't too happy about Dr. Tofu knowing about his curse so soon. It would only be so long before he knew about his body…

Akane nervously fidgeted while looking at the ground. "I've been okay. No injuries to speak of." 

Dr. Tofu looked at Ranma with an eyebrow raised, just then noticing his change from female to male. "Jusenkyo?" Ranma was surprised, but managed to nod nonetheless. That did something to help his discomfort with the Doctor's knowing of his curse.

"You know about Jusenkyo?" Akane was incredulous.

The doctor smirked and said, "Yes, Akane. I'm quite well versed in mythology and so-called magical places and things all around the world." Dr. Tofu turned to look at Ranma. "Say, I don't think I've seen you around here before. I'm Dr. Tofu, by the way." He smiled and gave a polite bow, holding Betty all the while. Ranma frowned. How was he gonna tell this guy that he couldn't talk?

"This is Ranma, the son of one of my dad's friends. Ranma and his father are staying at my house." Akane then hastily added, "…for a while." 

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Ranma." He bowed again, and Ranma returned the gesture. It looked as if the Doctor were waiting for Ranma to say something, which made him nervous.

Akane came to his rescue, saying, "Dr. Tofu, Ranma doesn't have the ability to speak. He lost his voice box when he was little."

A look of concern passed over Tofu's handsome features. "Oh! I'm so sorry! How did it happen?" Ranma was prepared with a writing surface, this time, so he answered before Akane could do so for him. "'Neko-ken?' You were trained in the Neko-ken?" When Ranma nodded, the older man's features clouded over. "Whoever would do that to his pupil…" He shook his head, as if shaking off that train of thought. "I'm sorry, Ranma. Were you permanently damaged in any other way?" Ranma cast his eyes to the ground in shame. Here was another guy, another person who was gonna judge him because of how he looked. Maybe if he didn't tell him…?

Akane shuddered. "Scars…" Dr. Tofu looked at Akane quizzically, prompting Akane to expound on that comment. "He's got…scars…all over his body." Akane wrapped her arms around herself as if cold. "They're horrible…they're everywhere, from his feet to his neck. He…he looks like a…" Akane again shivered, disturbed by the thought of Ranma's body. Ranma's hands were thrust into his pockets, his shoulders were slumped and his eyes were firmly affixed to the ground as Akane turned to look at him. "I'm sorry, Ranma, it's just…" Ranma waved a hand in the air to forestall any further comment, then quickly put it back in his pocket. He turned around momentarily, then turned back and handed her a piece of paper. "'It's okay, I understand. You're not the first to be haunted by my appearance.' Ranma…" She shook her head. "I don't think you understand, Ranma. I'm not-" Ranma again cut off her speech with a wave of his hand. He turned around for another moment, faced Akane again and handed her another piece of paper. "'Yeah, I do. Don't worry, I don't mind.'" She looked to Ranma, who was smiling confidently for her, his hands still in his pockets. Akane completely missed the pain in his eyes. Convinced that Ranma was, in fact, all right, she smiled a little herself. "Ranma, we'd better get to school or we'll be late."

Dr. Tofu spoke up. "Actually, Akane, why don't you go on ahead? I'd like to speak with Ranma, here, if neither of you mind." Ranma shrugged and shook his head no as Akane indicated that she had no problem with it, either.

"Well, then I guess I'll see you later, Ranma! I'll tell the teacher you're sick, or something." As she waved and went on her way to school, the Doctor spoke. 

"Ranma, come on inside." Ranma just shrugged and followed. Nerima sure was full of weird people. 

+++

Several minutes found Ranma sitting in a small chair facing the good Dr. Tofu, who was also seated in a chair, one that was facing the young martial artist. Ranma didn't feel good about this little meeting. He didn't HATE doctors, per se, but he felt more uncomfortable around doctors than he did around anything else save cats. Doctors always want to "take a look at you." Ranma looked to the ground. His hands clasped each other tightly. He hated it when doctors asked to see his scars. They were all fascinated by his disfigurement, for some reason. He knew what circus freaks must feel like. 

"Ranma," began the older man, "I'd like to see your scars, if you don't mind." Ranma's hands contracted, cracking all his knuckles simultaneously. He knew this had been coming. Lord, he didn't want more doctors poking and prodding at him. Especially because he seemed to know the Tendos, and Ranma didn't want anyone knowing about his scars. Ranma screwed his eyes shut against the tears that surged up within him. Akane knew, though, so it wasn't as if it would take long for the fact that he was a disfigured freak to spread through town. God, he had been so close to having a friend, but his damned body had driven her away. He ground his teeth together in an effort to staunch the flow of warm salt water threatening to overflow from his eyes. No, he wasn't going to cry, at least not in front of a doctor. If he cried, the doctor would assume that something was the matter with Ranma, and he'd want to talk about it. Ranma would have to avoid talking about it until he could escape the doctor's office. But it wouldn't end there. Dr. Tofu would come around, looking for Ranma, wanting to have a little talk. He would tell the counselors at his school about it. He would tell his father about it. No, Ranma wouldn't – couldn't – cry. Not in front of Dr. Tofu. Shit, Tofu was waiting for an answer. Ranma took a split second to compose himself and shook his head slowly. "Ranma, please? I know you probably hate doctors, and I know what scars can do to the self-image of someone, but I'd really like to see them." Ranma again had to force back tears, but this time, they were tears of bitterness. Did Dr. Tofu really know what scars did to a person? Did he have any idea of the pain that his body had put him through? Doubtful.

Dr. Tofu sighed and sat back heavily in his chair. "Okay, Ranma, I understand if you don't want to show me. Just so you know, I wasn't going to take pictures, or notes, or anything. I just wanted to see if I could help, that's all." Damn him. Damn him to hell. It was so hard to resist that nice, gentle man. Damn him to the very depths of hell. Ranma hesitantly reached up and started undoing the clasps of his shirt. Damn him, damn that Dr. Tofu. His shirt was off, now, and he looked at the floor, braced himself for the whistle that he felt coming, the inhalation of breath, the scratch of pen on paper or click of a camera shutter.

But none of those things came. After what seemed like hours under what he assumed was Tofu's scrutinizing gaze, Ranma hesitantly looked up. What he saw surprised him. Dr. Tofu was smiling. He was smiling at Ranma. "See?" said Dr. Tofu as he smiled. "It's not so bad, is it?" The kind doctor shook his head, the smile never leaving his face. "Ranma, as scarring goes, this is pretty bad, but I've seen far, far worse. You don't have to be ashamed of your body." Ranma grabbed the pen from around his neck and found a piece of paper in his bag. He wrote, silently, then handed the paper to Tofu. "'Thank you, but please do not lie to me.' Ranma, I'm not lying. You shouldn't be ashamed of your body. Actually, I'm rather jealous." Ranma grabbed the paper from Tofu's hands, scribbled something quickly, then handed it back. "'Dr. Tofu, your lies will only hurt me further.' Oh, Ranma…" Dr. Tofu started to say, but was interrupted as the door to his office opened and Kasumi walked in. Oh, gods, how it hurt to see Kasumi's face at that moment. Everything was crumbling around him, as it always had. He was powerless to stop it, just as he could not hope to piece together again the plate that dropped from Kasumi's hands to shatter on the floor.

+++

Nabiki sighed as Kuno approached her. It was lunchtime. Didn't he have anything better to do? "Nabiki Tendo, I would speak with you."

She smiled a calculated smile and replied, "What's up, Kuno-chan?"

He bristled slightly at that, and she smiled inwardly. "I require information about a certain boy who claims to be living at your house. A Ranma Saotome."

Nabiki nodded. "What kind of information?"

"Any and all information available on him." 

Nabiki inwardly wept with joy. Oh, how she loved it when people were desperate for information. She could extort so much for so little when that happened. "Five thousand yen."

Kuno's eyes widened. "You ask a great deal…"

"Okay, if you don't want to know about him, then…" Nabiki left the sentence unfinished as Kuno sighed and took out his wallet. Score one for Team Nabiki.

"Very well, mercenary, I will pay." He handed the money to her, saying, "So, what of him?"

Nabiki took the money, casually counted it, then put it in her bag. "His name is Ranma Saotome. He is the son of one of my father's oldest friends. He underwent a strange sort of training when he was a small boy, and because of bodily harm done to him through that training, can not speak. He also has scars that cover his whole body, from his toes to his neck. On top of that," Nabiki prepared herself for Kuno's reaction, "he's engaged to Akane."

The time was 12:04

+++

Akane looked at the clock absently. 12:05.

"AKANE, YOU'RE ENGAGED?!?!?"

+++

Nabiki noticed the ears of every student in the room perk up at that piece of information, and knew that it would soon be all over the school. Oh, well. At least she'd made some money off of it, first. "I shall never allow this!" bellowed Kuno as he strode purposefully from the classroom.

Nabiki looked around at all the faces staring at her. They all hungered for more information about Ranma. "Ten thousand yen."

+++

Akane looked desperately at the clock, waiting for lunch to be over. 12:10. "I hear he proposed to you because he got you pregnant!" shouted a girl Akane did not know. Akane blushed furiously and shouted a negative. 

"I heard that he saved you from a plane crash, and you instantly fell in love with him!" A boy a year younger than her shouted this. One of his friends bopped him on the head before Akane could speak.

"Idiot! Has Akane been gone from school long enough to take any plane trips lately?" The first boy rubbed his head and blushed furiously.

"I heard that…" 

Akane ignored the shouts and exclamations, praying that the clock read 12:30. She looked over. 12:10:24.

"Is it true that he paid your father to marry you?" shouted an unfamiliar voice.

Akane shouted at the top of her lungs, "QUIET!!!" When the crowd gathered around her had quieted to a dull roar, she spoke, loud enough for each of them to hear. Oh, she was so embarrassed…how had they found out? "His father and my father arranged this marriage years ago! I barely even know him! There's no WAY I'm gonna marry a creep like him!" That seemed to placate the crowd. Eventually, though, one voice rose above the deafening silence that had fallen over the gathered people.

"Is it true that he has scars all over his body?"

Akane's blood ran cold. She could do nothing but nod assent, picturing the mass of scar tissue covering his back, his shoulders…

The crowd started up again, louder than ever before.

"Is it really ugly?"

"Does he look like that guy from the American horror movies, Freddie Kreuger?"

"What happened to him? Did he disfigure himself in a satanic ritual?"

"Was it scary the first time you saw it?"

"What are you going to do, Akane? You can't marry a freak like him!"

Akane recognized that last voice, but couldn't place it. Perhaps someone from her class. She couldn't tell. She didn't care. All she could see was red, crimson, filling her entire field of view. She drew a deep breath to shout at all those gathered, to berate them for their instantaneous judgement of a man they'd never even met, to tell them what horrible things had happened to Ranma, make them see that they should feel sorry for him, not ridicule him, but she never got that far. As she was about to shout, she saw, over the crowd, a single figure, head bowed, shoulders slumped, pigtail swaying gently left and right with his steps, walking out the gates of the school. Ranma had heard. Oh, whatever powers may be, he had heard.

Slowly, numbly, legs and arms like lead, Akane made her way to her school bag, the crowd parting like the sea before Moses, and she quietly packed up her things, turned, and walked out of the gates of the school in a silent, determined pursuit of Ranma.

+++

He liked that part of the city. It was nice. It was a sunny day, and Ranma walked along the street, noting different stores and restaurants as he went. A grocery store here, a clothing store there, this place had everything. He saw a comic that looked interesting in one of the many bookstores he visited, so he scrounged around in his pants for money and bought it. It was an old issue of Gundam; he'd read it before, but couldn't remember the ending. 

Ranma turned a corner and absently tucked the comic in his back pocket; he'd finish it later. He had to find a place to stay, and quickly. There were many other things that needed his attention, as well: passports, visas, plane tickets, clothing…he squeezed his eyes shut against the tears. He couldn't remember, couldn't see, if he did he'd cry, in public, and he'd be questioned, and he wouldn't be able to respond, and that would bring more memories, and he'd cry more, and he'd flee, and he'd hurt someone, and he'd get arrested, and he'd be thrown in jail, and he didn't want to remember, there was so much pain, so much loss, so recent, he heard their cries, he saw their faces, he 

"Ranma!" 

saw Akane at the head of them, she had told them all, she had told them about his scars, she had 

"Ranma!" 

betrayed him, just like everyone else, just like his father, just like Ryoga, just like 

"Ranma!" 

Ranma snapped out of his reverie, looked back to see Akane running up behind him. Oh, God, it was Akane, oh, lord, he didn't want to see Akane, please, he didn't want to see her, God, whoever you may be, please, don't let her see him…just as she was about to reach him, she faded away into nothing, leaving only the crowd. 

Ranma ran, tears streaming down his face, into an alley not far from where he had previously been. Hiding himself behind a dumpster, he pulled his knees to his chest and let all pretenses slip away. He cried, silently, rocking back and forth, cursing his damnable body.

+++

Akane searched all over. "Excuse me, but have you seen a boy with black hair in a ponytail around here? He's wearing a black, long-sleeved Chinese shirt and black pants." No, of course they hadn't. No one had. She shook her head sadly. It was already 4:00 in the afternoon. She had to get home. Ranma would have to return, too, eventually. Sighing, Akane turned and started for home, not realizing that Ranma was silently sobbing not ten feet from where she had been standing.

+++

A boy in a yellow and black bandanna moved slowly through a small town. He casually strolled up to an older man who was struggling to lift a bale of hay onto a wagon. "Here, let me help you with that." He easily lifted the hay off of the man's stooped shoulders and placed it on the wagon.

"Thanks, stranger," said the man with a smile. 

The boy smiled back, showing a pair of fangs. "No problem, sir. Say, would you happen to know where Furinkan high school is?" He proffered a map to the man, who took it.

"…Say, isn't this Tokyo?" asked the man after a moment. "That's 500 miles North of here." He handed the map back to the boy, saying, "You're a bit off track there, sonny."

The boy's face fell. "Oh. Well, thanks anyway." He bowed politely and walked due East.

"Say! That's east! You want to go north!" shouted the man after the boy. What was he, on drugs?

The boy turned and looked at the sun, which was rising directly in front of him. "Oh. Heh heh. So I was. Thanks again, sir!" He promptly turned and walked southwest.

As the bandanna-wearing boy moved steadily away from his destination, he could think only one thing. 'Ranma Saotome…you can hide from our man-to-man battle no longer!'

+++

Kasumi looked up as Akane entered the house. "Akane! Where have you been?" She sounded worried, not angry at all. 

"Hey, Kasumi. I went out to look for Ranma after he ran off from school." The youngest Tendo slipped her shoes off and put her book bag down.

"What?" Kasumi looked even more worried than she had before. "Ranma ran off from school? Why did he do that?"

Akane clenched her fists. "I'd rather not talk about that just yet, big sister." Her voice left no room for discussion.

Kasumi looked even more worried than before, if that was possible. She didn't know what had happened, but she knew that it had been something big. "Okay, Akane, if that's how you feel." Akane relaxed and Kasumi moved on. "Did you find him?" She was speaking of Ranma, of course.

The shorter Tendo shook her head in the negative. "I looked all over town, for three and a half hours, but I couldn't find him." She sighed and hung her head wearily. "He'll be back, eventually. He has nowhere else to go." Her voice was soft, hopeful almost.

Kasumi's heart went out to her little sister. She was obviously very, very worried about Ranma. "I'm sure he'll be back soon, Akane. Why don't you go upstairs and lie down until dinner? You look like you could use a rest." Kasumi's motherly tone was gentle yet commanding at the same time.

Akane absently nodded and moved upstairs, leaving Kasumi behind. When Akane had disappeared from the older girl's sight, she frowned. Where could Ranma have gone? It wasn't very nice to just run off like that. He was worrying everyone. Well, herself and Akane, at least. Kasumi moved back into the kitchen to start preparing dinner. What had happened at school? She'd have to ask Ranma about it. 

Pulling out a cutting board, knife and some carrots, the pseudo-mother of the Tendo household started to cut the carrots into smaller pieces while contemplating the situation. Something had happened at school that had caused Ranma to leave, and Akane had been worried about him, so she tried to follow. She couldn't find him, and after three and a half hours of searching, gave up. Kasumi smiled a bit. Perhaps Akane was beginning to like Ranma? That thought caused her to chuckle, which in turn caused her to cut her finger. Kasumi silently swore to herself. Wonderful. She was preparing dinner, and she cut herself. Just great. She could just imagine asking, "How's the bloodied carrot stew?" Kasumi felt like throwing the knife out the window, but restrained herself and moved to get a Band-Aid from the cupboard. 

As she fastened the bandage around her wounded finger, a surge of emotion swept over her. She felt sadness at her mother's death, bitterness at having to take on the role of the mother, anger at her father's weak-mindedness. She remembered her ambitions of being a doctor, deciding that her family was more important than her own dreams. She remembered her mother's large, warm hand engulfing her own. She remembered Nabiki's tear-stained face at their mother's funeral.

Kasumi closed her eyes to calm herself. There was nothing she could do. She was the mother. What she wanted didn't matter until Akane and Nabiki were on their own. Maybe then she could go after her own dreams. But would she be able to? Kasumi shook off that train of thought. No, she wasn't going to think about that. She had made a choice, and that choice was to suppress the person she had been and become the mother. Who she had been didn't matter anymore. 

Kasumi scoffed at that thought. God, she hated being the mother. She hated being the calm, rational one. She hated being the one to comfort others. Why couldn't she be irrational? Why couldn't she be comforted? Again Kasumi forced down that train of thought. No. She was the mother. Kasumi the person no longer existed; there was only Kasumi the mother. After Akane and Nabiki were firmly established in the world, then she could start - slowly at first - to revert to herself. Only then could she begin to let the mask drop.

Kasumi looked back on her life and choked back a sob.

Nabiki walked in the kitchen and Kasumi was forced to push all those thoughts and emotions deep down inside her. Smiling, she turned to Nabiki and said, "Oh, hello, Nabiki."

"Hey, sis," the shorter girl replied. She noticed the bandage and asked, "What happened?"

"Oh, nothing much. I just cut myself a little, that's all. No big deal." 

"Oh. Okay." Nabiki smirked a bit as she grabbed a can of tea out of the refrigerator and walked out of the kitchen. "Watch out for those potatoes, sis. They're tricky." 

Kasumi smiled sweetly. "Thank you, Nabiki. I'll do that." When Nabiki was gone, Kasumi turned back to the carrots and again began chopping. Nabiki was always so sarcastic. She thought Kasumi couldn't pick up on it, but it would take a complete and total moron not to notice the way her eyes laughed at everything around her. If only Kasumi didn't have to be the mother, she could throw some acidic remark back to Nabiki. That would catch her off guard. Kasumi, verbally sparring with Nabiki. They'd never expect it. It would never happen, of course, but still, the thought made Kasumi chuckle.

"Shit!" whispered Kasumi as she cut herself again. Forcing down the surge of anger and helplessness, she reached again for the box of Band-Aids.

+++

Ranma looked up. She was female. Of course it would have started raining. It never failed. When had the rain started? Ranma thought back, but couldn't remember. It was no matter. She stood up and wiped off her face. What time was it? She looked around. Night, of course, but what time? She shook her head. She had spent all day sitting in the alley and crying. Would she always have so many tears to shed?

Ranma shivered from the cold bite of the rain and wind. She needed to get home. She scoffed at the word: home. She had never had a home. She never would. She was too different to have a home. She didn't deserve a home, all because of her body. Her horrible, ugly body.

"Hey, what are you doing out so late, sweetie?" Ranma looked up to find a group of three young men leering at her suggestively. She knew she should have felt repulsed, but for some reason, she did not. Did they think she was beautiful? Did they think that she was pretty? Attractive?

"Why don't you say something, honey?" asked the first man as he advanced a step on her. "You scared?" 

Ranma shook her head and looked down. Why couldn't she do something? She should have been kicking their asses, or running, or anything but what she was doing. Why was she just standing there?

The second man chuckled lightly. "She's a shy one, she is. Why don't we introduce ourselves?" 

The third man just leered at Ranma, and advanced slowly. Ranma was confused. Did this mean that she was not ugly? Did this mean that she was actually attractive? She didn't know, but she couldn't move, either. Something kept her from attacking the trio. What was going on? 

Ranma saw it coming, but didn't move. Again, she didn't know why, but she let two of the men grab her arms and push her back against the wall. The second man, the only one who hadn't grabbed her, moved close to Ranma and caressed her face. "Aren't we a pretty one? Well, let's see just how pretty you really are, why don't we?" He suddenly gripped Ranma's shirt and tore it open, revealing her scarred chest and stomach. The man stepped back in shock and disgust. "What the hell?" The two men who were grabbing Ranma let go when they saw what was under Ranma's shirt, and both took a couple of steps back. The man who had ripped open her shirt again spoke. "Shit. Of all the women in this city, we have to get the freak."

Ranma wasn't pretty. She was a freak. The only reason these men had even looked twice at her was because she had had her shirt on, so the scars weren't visible. Suddenly self-conscious again, Ranma drew her shirt closed. She was just another freak, another weirdo with scars. Suddenly, the thing that had been preventing her from pummeling the men before vanished. 

The men didn't even have time to react. The two that had held her found themselves on the receiving end of a flying scissor-kick and were swiftly swept into unconsciousness. The one who had ripped open her shirt wasn't treated so kindly. One, two, three punches to the gut, followed by an uppercut and a roundhouse that threw him into the wall were all that was needed to put the man out.

Ranma's battle-rage waned, and she realized what had just happened. She had almost been raped, and she had stood by and let it happen. She had actually craved the touch of another human being, if only for a second, and had almost let total strangers sleep with…HER. SHE had almost let three MEN rape HER. 

Ranma's hands shakily redid the buttons on her shirt. She looked up. It had stopped raining. 

She walked out into the street and numbly started walking home, the glazed look in her eyes accentuated by her pale face.

+++

"Furinkan high school!" the boy shouted. "This is it!" His fangs gleamed in the moonlight as he smiled. "I'll wait here for Saotome. He's bound to show up eventually. I'll wait however long it takes." The boy snorted as he sat down. "I'll certainly wait longer than Saotome did, if it comes down to it." The boy lay his head on his travelling pack and tried to get to sleep. Just before he passed on into unconsciousness, he mumbled, "Ranma, you will die."

////////////////////////////////////////////

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Okay, I have a little something to say, so please listen. Now, when I was writing this, I got the distinct feeling that it moved a bit quickly. I, personally, don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I get the feeling that it's more bad than good. I was worried about the quick development of the story in more places than one. I need…no, let me rephrase that. I WOULD LIKE IT IF anyone reading this would comment on that issue - being the speed of the development in this story. 

Also, I have noticed a couple of places where characterization - while important to me and to the story - may have been…misplaced would be the best word I can come up with. (One of these examples would be the Kasumi scene in the kitchen.) I find that what I have written should be in the story, as I have certain plans for and about this story, but I am not sure if the placement of these scenes is proper. Please, if anyone has anything to comment on about this story, either email me or write a review. I like this story, and I like writing it, and from what I gather you all like it, too, so, in order to better the story and benefit all of us, please give me feedback. Again, I don't care if it's positive or negative, but please, PLEASE give me feedback. Please.

Thanks.

In addition, I'd just like to thank all the people who gave me feedback and wrote reviews on the first part of this story. It helped tremendously much, and I took everything said into account when I wrote this chapter and revised the first one. (If there's anything you have to comment on about the new version of the first chapter, please, do not hesitate to tell me.) All of the reviews I received - in my opinion, at least - were at least partly positive, and so I would again like to thank everyone who reviewed the first chapter. The compliments, comments and suggestions really make writing this story a lot more fun, and I appreciate every sentiment. Thank you all.

~A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies


	3. Infection

Ranma stepped through the door to the Tendo home. She was shivering. For some reason, she was very, very cold. That didn't bother her much, though. What she was worried about was the filth that saturated her to the very bone.  
  
She needed a bath.  
  
  
She moved to the bathroom and entered, closing the door quietly behind her. Gods, she was dirty. She'd have to spend an extra long time in the bath.  
  
  
The girl quietly stripped and entered the bathroom proper, again talking special care not to wake anyone when she closed the door. She was so dirty. And cold. So very cold.  
  
  
Ranma found a bar of soap and proceeded to get into the tub before even filling it up. Screw washing first. Besides, she was so dirty that it wouldn't even work. She had to soak for a long time to loosen the dirt. Not to mention the fact that she was so very, very cold.  
  
  
The young Saotome turned on the how water, not even bothering to turn on the cold. After a few moments, the then-male Ranma started to work at his legs with the soap as steam filled the bathroom. God, he was dirty.  
  
  
+++  
  
  
Kasumi stared at the ceiling. She hadn't been able to sleep, and her alternatives were severely limited. She couldn't watch TV for fear of waking someone up; besides, there wasn't anything good on that late at night. She couldn't read, because she had no books with which to do so. She couldn't...well, she couldn't do anything that wasn't staring at the ceiling, really.  
  
  
Maybe a glass of water? It was worth a shot, at least.  
  
  
As she walked down the stairs, Kasumi became aware of water running somewhere in the house. Odd. No one should have been awake.  
  
  
The sound appeared to be coming from the bathroom. Who could have been taking a bath so late at night?  
  
  
Stepping into the changing room, Kasumi softly called, "Hello?" When no answer came, she shrugged to herself and walked towards the door to the actual bathroom. Someone must have left the water running after they had bathed that evening. Why hadn't anyone noticed it before, though? No matter. There was no use in fretting about the past. She snorted to herself. The story of her life.  
  
  
When Kasumi entered the bathroom proper, she had to bite back a scream. Ranma was in the bathtub, the water running, but he wasn't awake, nor was he okay. The water was red with his blood, and his head lolled dangerously close to the water in which he sat.  
  
  
The woman with long, brown hair hauled Ranma out of the bathtub and turned off the water. Ranma didn't look too good. She had to do something. He was going to die if she didn't do something. Able to think of nothing else, she grabbed a bathrobe off of a nearby shelf, placed it on Ranma and pressed lightly, hopefully inhibiting the blood flow somewhat. Kasumi had no illusions about the situation; Ranma was going to bleed to death if she didn't do something.  
  
  
She ran out of the house, hoping against hope that Dr. Tofu was awake.  
  
  
+++  
  
  
Kasumi ran through the darkened streets of Nerima, winding her way towards Dr. Tofu's office. As her bare feet slapped hard against the pavement, she felt a familiar surge of emotion: helplessness. Ranma was lying on the bathroom floor, bleeding, and she knew for a fact that the flimsy bathrobe she had laid atop Ranma to help staunch the blood flow would do no good. The only thing Kasumi could do was run to get Dr. Tofu. And run she did. Despite the sinking feeling in her stomach and the well of tears threatening to spill over at any moment, the eldest Tendo sister ran as fast as her legs would carry her. She was not going to let Ranma die.  
  
  
The girl reached the good doctor's office and tried to open the door. It was locked, of course, so she proceeded to bang loudly on the door. "Doctor! Hello, Doctor!!" The pounding and screaming echoed through the silent streets, giving the sounds an eerie quality and heightening Kasumi's fear. "Please, open up! Ranma needs help!"  
  
  
Suddenly, the door opened. There stood Dr. Tofu, wearing only a dark pair of pants and his glasses. "Hello?" he said, not a hint of fatigue in his voice.  
  
  
Then he saw who it was.  
  
  
Before Kasumi could even form a sentence in her mind, Tofu was stammering, "K-K-K-K-Kasumi! What b-brings you here?"  
  
  
"Ranma's been hurt! I need you to come with me!" Kasumi all but screamed.  
  
  
"Well, we can't have that, can we?" said Tofu. He turned around and went back into his office, leaving Kasumi to hyperventilate by the front door. A few moments later, the good Doctor returned, carrying a picnic basket. "Let's go!" he said. "We've got to save Akane!"  
  
  
Kasumi swore. Of course Tofu would be crazy. He was always that way when Kasumi was around. "No, Doctor, it's Ranma! And that's not your bag!"  
  
  
"It's not?" the man asked, glancing down at the picnic basket in his hand. "What is it, then?"  
  
  
"Never mind what it is, just go get your bag!" Kasumi felt a tear slide down her face. They wouldn't make it if they didn't hurry.  
  
  
Tofu, of course, returned with his suitcase and said, "Okay, where's Nabiki?"  
  
  
Kasumi's hand shot out and struck Tofu's face with enough force to turn his head. "Damn it, Tofu, we don't have time for this! Ranma is bleeding to death!" Her face was contorted in anger, and her cheeks were covered with tears. "Pull your shit together and go help him! If you don't, he'll die!" Kasumi began to sob, her shoulders heaving and her hands covering her face.  
  
  
Tofu was shocked out of his Kasumi-induced stupor. He calmly looked to the sobbing girl. He then looked to his glasses, which had fallen to the ground with Kasumi's slap. He looked to his suitcase. What had he been doing? Why did he always act like that around Kasumi? Emotions were such confusing things - especially around the eldest Tendo girl. Tofu swore under his breath. How could he let his emotions mess with him like that when a life hung in the balance? Never again. Never, ever again.  
  
  
Kasumi turned when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes met Dr. Tofu's through his now beat-up glasses. "Where is Ranma?"  
  
  
+++  
  
  
Ranma woke up and opened his eyes. He saw an unfamiliar ceiling. He tried to sit up, but pain shot through his entire body, so he decided to stop. Lying down was just fine with him. He did turn his head, though, so he could see where he was and what he looked like. The pain that had accompanied his efforts to sit up apparently had cousins in his neck and head, but they weren't as strong as their kin, so Ranma was able to turn his head far enough to see bandages covering his entire body and Kasumi sleeping in a chair by the head of his bed. At least no one could see his hideous body. Was his face covered, too? He painfully turned his head to the left so he could gaze into the mirror opposite him. The window next to the mirror showed the pre-dawn sky lightening to a dark gray. The sun would be up soon. He shifted his focus to the reflective surface. No, his face was fine. A bit pale, but fine. Not that paleness was anything to worry about, either; he wasn't  
attractive in the first place. He looked back to Kasumi. Behind the Tendo girl, he could see what looked to be Dr. Tofu's office. Strange. How did he get here? The last thing he remembered was being in the bath, washing himself raw. Oh, no. Had Kasumi found him and taken him to Dr. Tofu? Had she carried him here, getting all of his dirt onto her self? He hoped not; Kasumi wouldn't understand the fact that the dirt was really under the top layers of skin. She would probably have overreacted. Damn it, he couldn't even clean himself without messing someone else's life up, could he? God, he was so worthless. Had Dr. Tofu examined him? Had he gotten dirty, too? Two people dirtied by his own carelessness. Why did he always screw up like that? There was so much he could have done to ensure that nothing bad happened to anyone else, but had he done that? No, of course not - he was careless and stupid. What a complete waste of flesh. He turned his head to the left  
in order to see what else was in the room. He saw an IV bag with blood in it that appeared to be connected to his left arm, and one filled with water connected to the tube running from the first, but other than that, the room was sparsely decorated.  
  
  
Ranma felt something stir to his right and turned his head to see what it was. His neck felt stiff, as if it were swollen. It was probably the germs in his system. He still needed a bath. Before he could see what was stirring, he heard a familiar voice. "Ranma?" it softly asked. He saw Kasumi's red, puffy eyes, and wondered why she had been crying. "Oh, thank God you're okay, Ranma." Kasumi made it seem that she was actually glad that Ranma was okay. Yeah, right. It's not like he was worth sympathy. He was just a piece of gum on the bottom of Kasumi's boot, and they both knew it. Still, it was nice of Kasumi to lie to him in order to make him feel better, even if he could see through it. As Kasumi started to cry, Ranma wished she would stop with the charade. The crying was a bit much. Besides, the lies were getting kind of old. He really wished people would start treating him like the piece of dog meat that he was instead of lying to his face all the time.  
"Don't you ever scare me like that again, Ranma," he heard the girl sob. Great. She was pissed. Just great. She probably carried him here, too. Geez, he was such an asshole. Making her carry him all this way. What the hell was wrong with him? Not only that, but she'd been tainted by his dirt; Dr. Tofu had probably been soiled, too. Why did Ranma always have to mess things up? Whatever the reason, Ranma had to apologize. He wouldn't feel right if he didn't apologize. He lifted his arm slowly and painfully, pantomiming writing. How easy it would have been had he been able to speak.  
  
  
Kasumi was so relieved to see Ranma awake that her tears wouldn't stop. Even as she handed him the pad of paper and the pen, she had tears running down her face. She waited patiently for Ranma to finish writing, wiping her eyes and willing the tears to stop. Finally, the Saotome boy held up the pad, which said `I'm sorry for bothering you. I didn't mean to make you go to all of this trouble.' Kasumi replied, "Ranma, what are you talking about? I found you unconscious and bleeding in the bathtub. What was I supposed to do, let you bleed to death? It was the only thing I could do to bring you here and get you treated. Don't apologize." A few moments later Ranma held up his reply. `You should have let me die. I wouldn't be bothering you, then. If you touched me, you should bathe. I'm unclean.'  
  
  
Kasumi was speechless. Silence hung in the air as the girl's tears were renewed in strength by the Saotome boy's statement. Eventually, she moved to give Ranma a hug. There was nothing else she could think to do.  
  
  
As she reached for Ranma, he held up his hands in a gesture for her to stop. He quickly scribbled out something onto the piece of paper he had been writing on before. `Don't touch me.' The Tendo girl was shocked. "Wha...why, Ranma?" His reply read `I'm dirty. Could you please remove my bandages and help me to the bath? I need to wash.'  
  
  
Kasumi's only reply was to, after a moment of awkward silence, calmly and slowly reach for a pressure point on Ranma's body that would put him to sleep. He seemed disturbed as her finger neared, but soon he was asleep, with the weeping form of Kasumi lying on his chest.  
  
  
That was how Dr. Tofu found them, almost twenty minutes later. He stepped silently next to Kasumi. "Kasumi?" he asked softly, which caused the girl to look up. "How are you doing?"  
  
  
She looked up at him with huge, tear-filled eyes and choked, "Hold me." She stood and laid her head against Tofu's chest. As his arms awkwardly encircled her, she sobbed, "He's hurt, Tofu. He's hurt so badly."  
  
  
Tofu's arms tightened around Kasumi's shoulders as the familiar haze of lovesickness began to overwhelm him, but he mentally shook it off. Instead, he said, "I know, Kasumi. I know."  
  
  
"No," she whispered in between sobs. "No, he's hurt mentally. It's a psychological wound."  
  
  
"What do you mean?" asked the Doctor.  
  
  
Kasumi just cried.  
  
  
+++  
  
  
It was about six thirty in the morning. Kasumi's `discussion' with Ranma had occurred almost an hour previously, but she had not talked with Dr. Tofu yet. That was partially due to the emotional instability she felt. In the last hour she had started crying for no reason six or seven times, and she didn't feel up to discussing what Ranma had `said.' But she knew she had to. Dr. Tofu had to know. He might be able to do something for Ranma.  
  
  
Dr. Tofu re-entered the room with two cups of tea and set one down in front of Kasumi before taking the seat across the table from her. "Thought you might like some tea."  
  
  
Kasumi...she had to get it over with, or she'd never be able to do it. "Ranma woke up earlier. He spoke with me - metaphorically, of course - and the things he said disturb me. First he apologized for bothering me. He apologized because he saw my coming here to get you in order that you might save his life as bothering me. He described it as `trouble' that I had to go to in order to save his life. I replied that there wasn't really anything less I could have done except let him bleed to death, and he said that I should have let him die." The girl looked sadly into the Doctor's eyes. "I should have let him die, Tofu. He's not even seventeen yet, and he doesn't care if he dies. What kind of kid doesn't care if he dies at the age of sixteen?" Tears were running down Kasumi's face again, and she wiped them away with another tissue from the box by her right hand.  
  
  
Tofu thought on this new information for a couple of minutes, and then asked, "Did he say anything else?"  
  
  
Kasumi delicately sniffed before saying, "Yes. He kept saying that he was dirty, and then he asked me to help him to the bathroom. He said he needed to wash."  
  
  
Tofu nodded his head once. "Last night, when I first saw him, I thought the wounds were strange. It looked like Ranma had scrubbed his skin clear away. We now know that's exactly what happened." Kasumi nodded, and Tofu went on. "Obviously, something happened to him that caused him deep psychological pain. - he apparently feels dirtied by the experience."  
  
  
Kasumi's face showed concern. "What do you think happened?"  
  
  
"I don't know, Kasumi. I just don't know." He stood up. "Well, I think you'd better get home. The rest of the house will be waking up soon, and it would be awkward if you were missing."  
  
  
"Why? Because they wouldn't have breakfast waiting for them like usual?" she spat. "Well, screw them! They can make their own God damn breakfast this morning!" she screamed, causing Tofu to take a step back. This wasn't the Kasumi he knew. "I'm not leaving Ranma's side until he gets better," she said quietly, half defiant and half concerned.  
  
  
Dr. Tofu moved to the girl and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.  
  
  
"No, I'm not okay, Tofu! Not at all!" She looked up at him, and for the first time, he could see the real Kasumi in her eyes. She had lowered her defenses, and anyone looking into her eyes could see the emotions that had previously been hidden by her mask. "Ever since my mother died, Tofu, I've had to take on the role of the mother for Akane and Nabiki. Hell, I've even had to play the mother for my own father! Do you realize how pathetic that is, Tofu? Do you have any idea how many times I've wished that my dad would just act like a real father and not like some permanent houseguest, always hiding behind the newspaper and watching TV? Too many to count, Doc! That's horrible! A girl should be able to rely on her father for at least the simple things, like the occasional hug or an encouraging word now and then!" Kasumi's eyes were beginning to fill with tears again, so she shut them tightly and plowed forward. "For Akane and Nabiki, I knew they had bright futures  
ahead of them, and I wanted to make sure that they could concentrate on their schoolwork so they could realize their full potential. But to do that, I had to suppress my own dreams, and that is too steep a price to pay, Doctor. I didn't realize that until too late, but the fact is that I cannot just give up on my dreams to play mother to my family. So, from now on, I say screw them! They can do their own damn thing, for all I care! I'm gonna study to be a doctor, damn it, and that's that!" Kasumi's face was defiant, but the single tear that ran down her face betrayed the emotions running beneath the surface.  
  
  
The Doctor gently squeezed her shoulder and wiped away the tear. "That's something only you can decide to do, Kasumi. If you want to do that, go right ahead. I'm sure your family would support your decision either way. But the important thing is to tell them how you feel. If you don't, then they'll continue to expect you to be what you aren't, and nothing will get accomplished." Tofu gently pulled on her hand, indicating that she should stand up. When she did, he took a step back and smiled at her. "Kasumi, whatever you decide to do, I'll be here to help. If you need me to talk to your family for you, I can do that. I know them well enough." Kasumi smiled slightly at that. "If you need me to help you study medicine or anatomy or anything, I'll be here to help you do that, too. I'm already a doctor, and if you need anyone to help you study, just ask."  
  
  
Another tear ran down Kasumi's face, but the smile on her face told Dr. Tofu that it was not a tear of sadness or bitterness. "Thank you, Doctor. And I'm sorry for yelling at you, but this situation with Ranma has my emotions running in overdrive."  
  
  
The Doctor smiled. "I understand. Don't worry about it."  
  
  
Kasumi continued, "But I did mean it when I said that I would like to stay with Ranma until he's better."  
  
  
Dr. Tofu nodded. "I understand. I'll just call the house sometime today and tell them what happened, and you ca-"  
  
  
"No!" insisted Kasumi, interrupting Tofu. "Do you think that Ranma would want anyone else to know what happened? I think not!"  
  
  
The Doctor held up his hands in a placating manner. "Alright, you're right. I won't call them. But they will be wondering where you and Ranma are as soon as they see that you're not home, you know, so I will have to tell them something."  
  
  
Kasumi bit her lower lip. "I know, I know." The girl smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry for interrupting like that, but I don't want anything else to happen to Ranma if it can be avoided."  
  
  
"I understand. But you do realize that it could be as long as two weeks before I can allow him to go home, right?" Kasumi nodded, and Tofu continued. "Well, I suppose that I could say that I wanted to study something about Ranma's Jusenkyo curse, so I asked him to come and stay for a while." The Doctor and Kasumi both smiled. "Yes, that would work. And you could say that you, being the sweet person that you are," Kasumi blushed a bit at that, "wanted to stay with Ranma and make sure that he wasn't uncomfortable. Would that work?"  
  
  
Kasumi launched herself into Tofu's arms and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, saying, "Thank you, Doctor!" She pulled back from the blushing and flustered Tofu. "Well, I guess I should go back to the house and at least tell them in person that Ranma and I are going to be gone for a while, so I'm off. I'll see you in about an hour, doctor?" Tofu nodded dumbly. "Okay. Bye!" said Kasumi, smiling a smile that would rot your teeth from across the room.  
  
  
As the Tendo girl left the Doctor's office, Tofu giggled to himself and walked over to his skeleton, Betty. "Hello? May I help you?"  
  
  
+++  
  
  
Kasumi was just putting the rice on the table as Akane walked into the dining room. "Good morning, Akane!" The eldest Tendo daughter smiled, causing Akane to smile, as well. Kasumi had that effect on people.  
  
  
"Good morning, Kasumi." Akane's smile was replaced with a worried frown quickly. "Have you seen Ranma? After he didn't come back last night, well...I checked his room just now, and he's not in there, either. Do you know anything?" Her eyes were wide, and her hands were clasped together at her waist. She was the quintessence of worry.  
  
  
Kasumi sighed, forming her words in her mind. "Ranma's at Dr. Tofu's right now." Akane's eyes shot open, even more so than they had before, and she rushed out of the room. "Akane! Wait! Let me explain!" It was too late, though; the younger woman was already out of the door. Shit. Kasumi ran past a groggy Nabiki, into the street, but there was no sign of Akane. Shit and double shit.  
  
  
Nabiki walked up behind her older sister. "Whaz hpnin?" she mumbled sleepily.  
  
  
Kasumi frowned. Damnit! "Nothing, Nabiki. Come on back inside. Breakfast is ready."  
  
  
+++  
  
  
Akane ran through the streets of Nerima, speeding her way toward Dr. Tofu's office. What had happened? Had he gotten into a fight with someone? He probably would have won, but she hadn't seen him fight, really, so...what had happened? Oh, she hoped he was all right. She didn't notice the tears of worry streaking down her face as she rushed up and into the Doctor's office. "Dr. Tofu?" she called out, worriedly. "Hello?" She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. She hated crying. It made her feel weak.  
  
  
"Yes?" came the reply. "I'll be right there, please wait a second." The Doctor's voice was coming from behind a door somewhere toward the back of the office. Soon, the door opened, and Tofu walked out, drying his hands on a white towel. "Oh!" he said, a bit surprised. "Hello, Akane. Shouldn't you be at home, getting ready for school?"  
"Where's Ranma?" she asked anxiously, dabbing at her eyes again. Lord, she hoped that Ranma hadn't done anything rash, like...no, she wasn't even going to think about that. He didn't...couldn't...suicide? Had he...no...NO! He couldn't have! Ranma...Ranma wouldn't...would he...? Damn tears, why wouldn't they stop? She HATED crying!  
  
  
The man hesitated briefly. "Akane, I don't think..."  
"WHERE IS RANMA?!?" screamed the girl. "Something happened yesterday, Doctor, and he didn't come home last night, and I need to talk to him, and I've been worried, and now I find out that he's in your care, and...just...where is he?" Akane was still crying. Why couldn't she stop?  
  
Dr. Tofu was taken aback. THIS was a new development. The last he had known, Akane wasn't too interested in the boy. Well, that certainly seemed to have changed. Tofu sighed. He couldn't say no to that sweet, worried face. So much for his and Kasumi's plans. "Okay, Akane." He hoped Ranma would forgive him. He moved back to the door he had just vacated and opened it. "He's in here. Please don't excite him. He just woke up, and he's kind of..."  
  
  
The rest of the sentence was cut off as Akane rushed by him and into the room. She stopped and gasped as she caught sight of Ranma, completely covered in bandages. Oh, Lord, she hated crying so much. "Ranma!' she exclaimed as she rushed to his side, stared at him in amazement. "Ranma! What happened?" She looked back to the Doctor, her eyes wide with shock. "What happened?"  
  
  
Ranma closed his eyes as Dr. Tofu explained how Kasumi had found him in the bath. Of ALL the people he didn't want to know about this...damn it damn it DAMN IT!!!!! His eyes closed, Ranma strained to cry out, to scream in rage and pain, but his wretched body wasn't able. He didn't want her seeing how weak he really was! She already thought he was a freak, and now he had to go and prove it to her?!? God, why couldn't Ranma just die? It would have been so much easier had he just died. Damn it all, he didn't want Akane's pity!  
  
  
Akane's back was to Ranma as she listened to Doctor Tofu's hypothesis on what had happened. He had tried to kill himself? By washing his skin away? All of her fears and anxieties about Ranma came crashing into reality, and Akane could barely stand. Her knees wobbled, and she swayed as she stood in front of the Doctor. Why had Ranma done that? The raven-haired girl unsteadily turned to Ranma, not even noticing the fact that she was cutting Tofu off mid-sentence, and whispered, "Why, Ranma? What happened? Why would you ever do this?"  
  
  
Ranma's eyes shot back to Akane at that question. Why? Why would he do that? What the hell kind of question was that? He was a dirty freak, that's why! She had said as much to the entire school! What the hell was she thinking? Ignoring the pain accompanied by the movements, Ranma reached for the pad of paper and the pencil that rested on the table next to his bed, but Akane reached them first, handed them to the bandaged boy. He closed his eyes to stopper the well of tears threatening to spill over. He didn't want her fucking pity. Slowly, he wrote, trying to minimize the physical pain of his actions. After he finished, he gingerly held it out to Akane, who read it out loud. "'I'm a dirty freak, Akane. You should know that. You told it to the whole school, after all.'" As soon as those words, Ranma's words, left Akane's mouth, and he saw the look in Akane's eyes, he regretted ever penning them down.  
  
  
Akane...she wanted to cry, she wanted to hit something, she wanted to scream, she wanted to..."Ranma, that's not what happened at all," she croaked through her sobs. When had she grabbed Ranma? No matter. "Ranma, they found out about our engagement, somehow - I didn't tell them - and they were saying horrible things about you! They were calling you names, and asking questions about how you looked, and...oh, Ranma, I was going to yell at them, and scream how they shouldn't judge someone they don't know, but then I saw you leaving, and...and...Ranma, you have to believe me!" She realized she was wailing, but she really didn't care. She just wanted Ranma to feel better. "I'm sorry, Ranma! I'm so, so sorry!" Her words trailed off into sobs. Ranma didn't deserve that kind of hurt! He didn't deserve so much pain!  
  
  
Ranma was crying, too. Partly because of the pain Akane was causing, but mostly because of the emotion he was feeling. He WAS dirty; they both knew it, but Akane was still apologizing. She was crying, too! God, he wanted to believe her! She was crying! He didn't want to hurt her! He always hurt other people, only caring about himself. Worthless piece of...no, this was no time for that shit. Akane...oh, he wished Akane would stop crying for him. He didn't deserve that. He tried to stop crying, but Akane's sobs just brought more tears to his eyes. He had hurt her, Goddamn it, and she was blaming herself for it. Ranma wanted to throw up.  
  
  
The Doctor watched with not a little surprise as the events unfolded before him. Yes, this certainly was a new development. "Akane," he said quietly as he took the girl by her shoulders and gently pulled her away from Ranma, "I don't think you should be grabbing him like that." As soon as those words left his mouth, Akane practically leapt away from Ranma, barreling into Tofu and knocking him back a couple of steps. The man shook his head slightly in amazement, a wry grin twisting his lips. "The times, they are a-changin'," the doctor whispered to himself.  
  
  
Akane's arms flew from around Ranma and she hurled herself backward. Ranma was in a hospital bed, completely covered in bandages, and she was squeezing the life out of him? "Oh, Ranma, I'm sorry, Ranma, I didn't mean to...I forgot that...I...are you okay? Did I hurt you, Ranma? I'm sorry. Are you okay?" She was babbling, but that wasn't even concerning her at the time. She just hoped Ranma wasn't in too much pain. Stupid, clumsy Akane, always fouling up...oh, God, he was crying! "Ranma..." Was he in that much pain from her `tender ministrations?' Probably. Clumsy oaf. "Ranma, I'm sorry for grabbing you like that." She could barely make out Ranma's face through her own tears. She wiped at her eyes vainly, trying to clear away the effusion of wetness there.  
  
  
Doctor Tofu silently watched. Akane certainly wasn't going to grab Ranma again, and Ranma didn't look to be in too much pain, so he judged it best if he left the two fiancées to themselves. They probably had some personal things to talk about. He quietly slipped out without attracting the notice of either teen, then walked to the phone to call Kasumi. She'd have to know about this.  
  
  
Akane delicately sniffed and snorted a laugh. "Ranma, look at us. We're crying like five-year-olds with skinned knees." She grabbed a chair from across the room and pulled it next to the bed. Before she sat down, though, she grabbed a box of tissues that was sitting on the table next to Ranma's bed and dried her eyes as best she could. "Here, Ranma, let me help." She reached over and dried his eyes for him, too, then sat back to again dry her own eyes. She still hadn't stopped crying, fully. "Ranma," she started, and then sneezed violently.  
  
  
The Saotome boy had just managed to get his tears under control when Akane dried his eyes for him. What was she doing? She was being nice, that's what she was doing. Why? He didn't deserve that. He had just made her cry! Maybe it was pity? Most likely. She felt sorry for the freak, so she was trying to help him out, to make his life less hellish. Like that would help. She sat down in the chair that Kasumi had earlier been using and dried her own eyes again. Yeah, she just felt sorry for him. Nothing more. He wished it were more, though. He wished that someone would actually want to be his friend. But that wouldn't happen, not with what he looked like. Not with what he was, and what he had done. Akane sneezed. He thought back to what had almost been friendship with Akane and started to chuckle. After a few seconds, he was full out laughing. Silently laughing at himself, at his life. He was so worthless.  
  
  
Akane wiped her nose, throwing the used tissue toward the wastebasket and missing. She'd pick that up later. When she looked back to the bed-ridden boy, she saw that he was laughing. She smiled, too. She was a bit embarrassed at sneezing like that, but it WAS funny. Ranma's quiet laughter intensified, and Akane was caught up in it, and started laughing herself. She couldn't help it. It was as much for the situation being funny as it was for a relief from the tears she had just finished shedding. Her therapeutic laughter echoed off the walls of the small room, drifting out the window and into the street. When she finally stopped laughing - it must have been two or three minutes! - she noticed that Ranma was still laughing just as hard as he had been before, if not harder. That was good; she liked seeing Ranma laughing. It made her smile. Something about his expression bothered her, though. Something wasn't quite right. As she peered closer, she realized that  
Ranma wasn't laughing anymore; he was crying! She hadn't been able to discern because of the lack of sound coming from the boy, but he was crying again!  
  
  
Ranma sobbed, his eyes closed, his head resting on the pillow. Worthless. Completely worthless. No use at all. He felt someone - Akane - dry his cheeks with another tissue, heard her murmur some words she probably thought were comforting, and he wept. But he didn't open his eyes. He didn't want to see the pity on her face.  
  
  
+++  
  
  
"Yes, Doctor. I'll be right over." Kasumi hung up the phone and sighed. Already, things were going wrong. It wouldn't be too long before Nabiki found out as well, that conniving bitch. No, that was just the stress talking. The girl walked back into the dining room, where Nabiki, Soun, and Genma were eating breakfast quietly. "Dr. Tofu asked me to go to his office for a little bit, so I'm going to head out. Nabiki, your lunch is in the kitchen. I'll see you after school. Father, Mr. Saotome, I don't know how long I'll be. You might want to consider going out to lunch." She said all of that without a smile, which was incredibly strange for the eldest Tendo sister.  
  
  
Nabiki's semi-conscious state barely allowed her to register what was going on, but her subconscious filed away everything for later reference. "'Kay. Bye, Kasumi." Tea. Tea was good. Nabiki liked tea. She filled her cup for the seventh time that morning, hoping to be conscious by the time school came around.  
  
  
Soun frowned and looked up at his daughter and frowned. This was highly unusual. "Is everything all right, Kasumi?"  
  
Kasumi smirked awkwardly, then nodded. "Yes, Father; everything is fine." She turned and left the room. A few seconds later, the front door opening and closing could be heard. Hmm. This was definitely strange. He hadn't seen Ranma or Akane since the day before, and now Kasumi was going off to Dr. Tofu's? What was going on? The gears in Soun's head began to turn, ever so slowly.  
  
  
Nabiki stood up and drained the last of her tea before exchanging the cup for her book bag and saying, "I'm off." She turned and left the room.  
  
  
Soun frowned. What was going on with the children? Could Akane and Ranma have...? "That's it!" he shouted as he sprang to his feet, tears streaming down his face. "Genma!" he exclaimed as he turned to his oldest and dearest friend, "your son and my daughter have conceived a child!"  
  
  
Genma frowned. "How can you be sure?"  
  
  
"Why else would they both have been missing since yesterday? Why else would Kasumi be going over to Dr. Tofu's office so early in the morning? It's obvious!" he shouted, his face to the heavens. "Ranma and Akane have had sex, and have conceived a child! They went to Dr. Tofu to make sure, and they want Kasumi's advice as to what they should do!"  
  
  
Genma nodded solemnly. It made all too much sense. "Oh, happy day!" he exclaimed as he leapt to his feet and embraced the patriarch of the Tendo family.  
  
  
///////////////////////////////////////  
  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES:  
  
  
This little repost serves two purposes: first off, I really wanted to fix the formatting for the chapter; secondly, I needed to inform everyone of my progress on the story. My progress is coming along VERY slowly. There is a good reason for that, though. My work on the chapter was erased. Completely. It happened at the beginning of January. So, since then, I've been kind of peeved at the whole world, and have been neglecting my TKP responsibilities. I'm sorry. I will honestly try to get the fourth chapter out as soon as I can possibly do so; however, I make no promises. That'd get me in a HEAP `o trouble.  
  
Anyway, again, I'm sorry about the HORRIBLY LONG WAIT, and I hope you'll forgive me.  
  
  
  
A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies 


	4. Stagnation

Ryoga cursed to himself. "Have you seen Ranma Saotome?" No, of course not. No one had seen him that day. "Pardon me, have you seen Ranma Saotome?" Of all the rotten luck...! Ryoga had finally found Saotome's school, and he wasn't there! He cursed again. Turning to another group of students, the fanged boy asked, "I'm sorry to bother you, but have you seen Ranma Saotome?"  
  
The girl shook her head. "Nope. Sorry. Why don't you ask Akane?"  
  
At least he was getting somewhere. "Who?"  
  
The girl blushed lightly in embarrassment. "Sorry. I didn't notice that you weren't a student here. Ask for Akane Tendo; Ranma's staying with her for the time being."  
  
"But she's gone home for the day," chirped one of the other girls in the group. "You could ask her tomorrow, though," she added hopefully.  
  
The Hibiki boy smiled and bowed deeply. "Thank you very much!" He then turned to walk the two feet back to his traveling pack and sat down as the group of girls walked away, giggling amongst themselves.  
  
Ranma Saotome was going to meet his doom at long last!  
  
+++  
  
It was a sunny day, and the wind blew gently through the trees. Children were filing into their school, their faces light and their voices cheery.  
  
One boy, however, stuck out like a sore thumb. His sullen manner of walking; the way his eyes were always cast toward the ground; the slow plodding of his feet; all of these things contributed to the black aura that exuded from this particular boy.  
  
His name was Ranma Saotome.  
  
As he passed through the gates of the school, groups of boys all over the schoolyard stopped their conversations to stare at him. Their eyes followed him as he moved through the yard, toward the doors to the school proper. Hushed whispers turned into murmurs, and murmurs turned into outright jeers. "Freak!" "Go away!" "Nobody likes you!" "I wish you'd died in that accident, you weirdo!"  
  
There were other, more quiet groups of children, boys who looked upon the merciless treatment of the Saotome boy with revulsion and sympathy. But though they were many in number, they were weak in spirit, and did nothing to stop the others from berating the crippled boy. They stood by silently, hoping against hope that the taunts and insults would miraculously stop one day.  
  
"Well, Saotome. It seems that you decided to come back again, huh?" Ranma looked up to the form standing directly in front of him. The fangs protruding out of his mouth lent an eerie malevolence to the face of Ryoga Hibiki, the bane of Ranma's existence. "Didn't I tell you to stay away? Or do you think that you can beat me into treating you like a human being?"  
  
Ranma held Ryoga's gaze for a moment, but let his eyes drop to the ground deferentially. He couldn't do anything. He simply couldn't. Oh, Ranma had no doubt about his ability; but his father had specifically prohibited him from getting into any more fights in school. That was part of the reason he had moved schools in the first place – aside from his training, that is.  
  
Ranma ignored the rest of the fanged boy's taunts as he remembered what had happened the last time he had gotten into a fight at school.  
  
*****  
  
"C'mon, ya freak!" jeered Hiro, the boy standing in front of him. Ranma sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't want to get into another fight. He was in danger of getting expelled if he made that mistake again.  
  
Suddenly, a fist impacted Ranma's face, sending the unsuspecting boy back and onto his rear. Shaking his head, Ranma looked up to the sneering boy. "You want some?" asked the cocky youth. "Come get it."  
  
Ranma winced as he put his hand to his face. It came away bloody. The red of the blood on his hand expanded, consumed his entire field of vision. Crimson. Hate.  
  
When his vision cleared, Ranma was sitting on some boy's chest. His hands were bloody and painful. Ranma flexed them, examined them, noting the blood that slowly dripped down his wrists and forearms. Not all of it was his. He looked down to see the mangled face of Hiro staring back at him, blood everywhere. Teeth were bent at odd angles; tissue was swollen; his nose was a disfigured lump of flesh. What had he done?  
  
Ranma stood and looked around. Shocked faces regarded him. His classmates. His teachers. Somewhere in the distance, someone was calling for the police and an ambulance. There seemed to be a note of urgency in that person's voice. Ranma looked back down to his rival's prone form, and then back to his hands. Yeah, it was an emergency all right.  
  
*****  
  
Thankfully, the police, after hearing the testimonies of many of the witnesses, had declared that Ranma's problem was psychological, and that he would not bear any legal repercussions. However, he was sentenced to stay in a mental hospital for an indeterminate amount of time.  
  
He had wasted two months there, answering doctors' questions, trying not to cry from fear and regret.  
  
Ranma didn't want to repeat that. No, no he did not.  
  
"Well, you gonna do something?" Ryoga's voice cut its way through the haze of memories. Ranma shook his head, keeping his eyes on the ground. "Well, then," said the other boy haughtily, "why don't you and I go for a walk?" Ranma could tell just by the tone of Ryoga's voice that he was smiling a cruel, evil smile. "Let's go back behind the equipment shed, shall we? We've still got some time before classes." With a shove from the fanged boy, Ranma started to walk toward the back of the school, where the equipment shed was – and where other people weren't.  
  
Ranma's eyes got tears in them, but he was determined not to let them leak down his face. He'd taken beatings before, and he'd not cried once. He'd be damned if he was gonna start.  
  
Reaching the appointed place, Ranma set down his book bag, removed his uniform jacket and turned to his tormenter. Behind the cruelly smiling face of Ryoga, Ranma could see some of the other boys of the school with evil smiles of their own. There was a larger crowd than usual.  
  
Something struck the base of Ranma's skull, stunning him and knocking him to the ground. He lay there for a moment, dazed. Behind him? Since when had they positioned themselves behind him, too? They'd always just pelted him from the front, before. More rocks slammed into Ranma's body, knocking breath out of him in short gasps. Well, he'd not be escaping without bandages. Not that that was unusual.  
  
+++  
  
Ranma's eyes opened to see a shaft of light running through the window and onto the ceiling of Dr. Tofu's office. His whole body ached and throbbed, but he had gotten used to that. He had been accustomed to pain for as long as he could remember. He snorted derisively. He could take physical pain, but emotional pain crippled him like a pack of cats. Disgusting.  
  
Akane had stayed for a while that morning, but had to leave for school after a time. Kasumi had spent the rest of the day with Ranma, soothing him and trying to talk to him. She asked him a bunch of questions about the reason he did what he did to himself, but Ranma didn't want to think about that. He didn't want to think about anything, but that least of all.  
  
After a time, Dr. Tofu had asked Kasumi to leave the room so he could change Ranma's bandages. When Kasumi had said no, Ranma's heart dropped. He hadn't wanted her seeing his horribly disfigured body. She'd already seen it, sure, but that didn't mean Ranma was okay with flaunting it in front of her.  
  
The changing of the bandages let Ranma see just how much damage he'd done to himself. He noted with some revulsion that the bandages he'd been wearing previously were thick and stiff with dried blood and pus. His legs were horrible; Ranma hadn't seen anything like them ever before. His body resembled nothing more than overcooked meat; the swollen tissue oozed disgustingly, and the surfaces of his wounds were dark and lumpy. Ranma's body had been trying to scab the wounds over, so it could heal itself, but there was too much damage.  
  
Kasumi had gasped when the first bandage was removed, and she began to silently weep as Dr. Tofu continued his ministrations. As if that weren't enough to make Ranma want to crawl into a hole and die, the pained look that came over the Doctor's face struck deep into the teen's heart. He could see that Tofu wanted to comfort Kasumi, that he didn't want to hear her crying, but he was too busy with Ranma to do anything about it. If it hadn't been for Ranma, he would've been able to hold the woman he loved in his arms to comfort her. Hell, if it hadn't been for Ranma, she wouldn't have been crying at all.  
  
So the bandages were changed, and Kasumi regained enough composure to fetch some food for Ranma. After he had been fed, Ranma was given a potent draught that swept him off to sleep.  
  
Then the dreams had come, waking Ranma. Which was where the boy found himself, alone in the cold night, staring at the ceiling of his own personal prison, wracked with the guilt of the hurt he had caused so many people.  
  
The door to his room opened, causing Ranma to turn his head sharply. Kasumi walked in quietly, clad in a white bathrobe cinched tightly about her waist. She closed the door and the bedridden teen turned his face away from the woman, not wanting to look at her. Not only was he ashamed to look into her eyes, but also he was profoundly disturbed by the way the robe seemed to cling to her in indecent ways. He could feel blood rushing to his face as he heard Kasumi seat herself by his bed. "Hey, Ranma," she whispered, taking his hand in hers. "I didn't know if you'd be awake, but I'm glad you are. I wanted to talk to you about what happened." Great. She wanted to talk, too. Everyone wanted to talk about his damned life, as if they were really interested. Fun stuff. "Ranma, after you left school, where did you go? I know that you came home after dark, and we all know what happened after that, but...what about the time in between?" Kasumi's voice had a tremble in it, as if she were at the verge of crying. When would these people realize that Ranma wasn't worth crying over? He was too far gone to have tears mean anything! He shook his head no. "Please, Ranma? Where did you go?" Ranma shook his head again. But where had he gone during that time? He seemed to remember walking around town for a while, until...Akane? No, that had been a hallucination of sorts. Ranma snorted; he needed psychiatric help if he was seeing things. "Ranma? Please tell me. I'm just trying to help you." After his little vision, Ranma had...had...he'd what? What had he done? What HAD happened during those hours? "Please talk to me, Ranma." Kasumi's voice was pleading in its concern for the boy. "Something horrible must have happened for you to have done this to yourself. Please tell me. If you talk to me about it, I can help." A flash of memory: Ranma staring up at the night sky, feeling cold drops of rain impact her delicate, female face. "Please, Ranma? Please talk to me?" Another flash: three young men, their faces grinning with lust and malice. "Ranma? Are you listening to me?" Ranma standing against a wall, her arms held out to the sides as one of the men rips open her shirt, steps back in horror. "Ranma?" Thoughts running through Ranma's head as the men move her to the wall; was she pretty? Did they find her attractive? He had almost let them rape her. Ranma Saotome had almost let a group of men rape her.  
  
Sobs ripped forth from Ranma's throat. Had he any vocal chords to clench, he would have been gurgling and screaming in rage and pain, the memories running through his head again and again. He buried his face in his hands, trying desperately to hide from the images flashing through his mind. The physical pain was completely forgotten as mental scars reopened, flooding his very being with hurt. He shuddered and convulsed in his bed, trying desperately to remove the painful memories from his head. Hands beat and clawed at his head and face; he needed to get rid of those horrible events.  
  
Kasumi's panicked scream cut through the silence of the night like a warm knife through butter. "DR. TOFU!!! COME QUICKLY!!!" The woman, with tears running down her face, tried time and time again to stop Ranma's savage beating of himself. Each time he would knock her away almost unconsciously, immediately returning to clawing his eyes out or beating himself in the face; Kasumi received several bruises from Ranma's blows. "TOFU!!! GOD, TOFU!!! COME DOWN HERE NOW!!!" The Tendo woman was hysterical, overcome with fear and anxiety. What was going on? Where was Dr. Tofu?  
  
The door opened behind her and the owner of the clinic raced in, clad only in a pair of loose-fitting black pants. His expression quickly turned from one of confused worry to horror. The Doctor raced over to Ranma's side and grabbed hold of the boy's wrists, pinning them to the bed. "Kasumi! Get me some Valium!"  
  
Kasumi's shaking hands clenched in front of her, she asked, "Where?"  
  
"The cupboard to your left! Hurry!"  
  
Rifling through the contents of the cupboard, she called frantically, "I can't find it!"  
  
Tofu swore. "Blue box! It should say 'Valium.'"  
  
The brown-haired girl whimpered helplessly. "I can't find it, Tofu! It's not here!"  
  
"Yes it is, Kasumi! Now get it to me and get it to me quickly!" Tofu grunted in exertion as he struggled to hold the injured boy to the bed.  
  
Kasumi finally found what she was looking for and rushed over to the Doctor. "I've found it!"  
  
"Great!" Tofu's glasses glinted in the soft moonlight as he turned his face to Kasumi. "What I need you to do is open that and inject it into his arm. Can you do that?"  
  
Gasping, the woman shook her head. "No! I don't have any idea what I'm doing!"  
  
"Kasumi, I need you to do this. I can't do it. All you need to do is give him a shot. It's simple, really. I'm sure you can do it. I believe in you."  
  
Kasumi's trembling hands moved to open the box and extract a sterility- sealed syringe in plastic casing. She removed it from that casing and stared at the syringe helplessly. "Now what?" The tremble in her voice was plainly evident.  
  
Tofu's sweating face smiled confidently at Kasumi. "You see that big vein on his left arm, there?" He gestured with his nose.  
  
"Y-yeah..."  
  
"Good. What I need you to do is give him the shot right there. You don't need to worry about anything but hitting the vein; I'll keep him nice and still for you, okay?" Kasumi nodded dumbly. "All right, then. You can do this, Kasumi. Now, just place the end of the needle a centimeter or two above the vein." Kasumi did so, prompting Tofu to continue. "Okay. What you need to do next is slowly insert MMPH!" Ranma's body shook as he forcefully tried to break Tofu's grip, causing Kasumi to yelp and jump back. After he had gotten the injured boy under control, he turned back to Kasumi and said, "All right, Kasumi, it's time for try number two. Don't worry; I won't let him do something like that again."  
  
"Do you promise?" she asked lamely, trembling violently, tears streaming out of her eyes and down her face.  
  
A smirk preceded the Doctor's answer. "Promise. Now, just put the needle a centimeter above the vein again. ...Good, good. Now, just touch the skin with the tip of the needle." Another grunt escaped Tofu's lips, but he quickly returned to talking Kasumi through the procedure. "Don't actually puncture anything, yet. Yes, exactly like that. Okay, this is the tricky part, so be very careful. Push lightly but firmly, until the tip of the needle is about two centimeters beneath the skin. ...Slowly...slowly...there. Okay. All you need to do is to depress the plunger with your thumb, and we're all done, okay?" It only took about thirty seconds after Kasumi injected the Valium for Ranma to cease struggling and go limp.  
  
Tofu collapsed on Ranma's body, his chest heaving from exertion. "Damn, that boy's strong!" he exclaimed between gasps. "I almost couldn't hold him down!" A clattering noise caught the Doctor's attention, and he turned his head to see Kasumi staring blankly at Ranma's slumbering form. The empty syringe had fallen from her lifeless fingers. "Kasumi?" he asked tentatively, stepping over to the woman. "Are you okay?"  
  
Kasumi shook her head. She looked up into Tofu's eyes, and her gaze pierced Tofu's soul with sadness and regret. "Why?" she asked lamely, tears leaking down her face. "Why does he have to go through this?"  
  
The Doctor shook his head and gathered the woman into his arms, saying, "I don't know, Kasumi. Sometimes life isn't fair."  
  
The Tendo girl shook her head against Tofu's chest, and she could be heard whimpering, "I know, but why does it have to be so unfair to him?"  
  
Dr. Tofu had no answer for that question, so he just stroked Kasumi's hair, whispering comforting words into her ear as she sobbed against him.  
  
+++  
  
Nabiki tentatively knocked on her sister's door. "C'mon in," came Akane's voice. The older girl opened the door and stepped in, closing it softly behind her.  
  
"Nabiki. What brings you here?" There was no warmth in Akane's voice. She had a hunch as to who had told the entire school about Ranma, but she couldn't do anything until she knew beyond the shadow of a doubt.  
  
"I..." started the brown-haired girl, looking to the floor. She took a deep breath and began anew. "Akane, I...I know about Ranma. I know what happened to him, and I know where he is right now." She really needed to find out what was going on, and this was the only way she could think of to go about it.  
  
Akane delivered the expected information; she was always as predictable as time itself. Her face hardened further, if it was actually possible to do so. She stood and marched straight up to her sister, placing her face mere centimeters from the other girl's. "If you tell anyone," whispered Akane malevolently, "about Ranma, I will personally destroy you. Do you understand me? No one but Dr. Tofu, Kasumi, you and I are to know. Let me iterate. If you tell ANYONE – anyone at all – about Ranma's suicide attempt, I will personally make sure that you occupy the bed next to Ranma's, and I'm sure that Dr. Tofu won't mind giving you a little special treatment, if you catch my drift." Eyes glinting dangerously in the incandescent light, Akane growled, "Now get out."  
  
Nabiki, however, did not move. She stood rooted to the ground, her eyes wide with horror and her jaw trembling. Ranma had...tried to commit...suicide? He'd tried to kill himself? Her knees suddenly weak, Nabiki fell to the floor. She knelt there, staring at the floor of Akane's room, a look of abject horror on her face.  
  
The girl with blue-black hair was concerned. Sure, she had expected her sister to react badly to her words, but not THAT badly. "Nabiki?" she asked, kneeling next to the older girl. "Are you all right?"  
  
Looking into Akane's eyes with shocked regret, Nabiki whispered, "I didn't know, Akane. I wouldn't have...if...if I had known." Nabiki's eyes filled with tears and she buried her face in her hands, wishing for all the world to hide the sorrow she felt at that moment. She didn't want Akane to see her so vulnerable.  
  
All Akane could think about was the fact that Nabiki had tricked her AGAIN. "You mean that you were lying?!?" shouted the younger girl, standing abruptly. She couldn't believe what she was hearing! Nabiki had not only...but she'd...and..."What the hell is wrong with you, Nabiki?!? Where did your soul go?" Akane noticed that her sister was saying nothing, so she got even angrier. How could the girl just ignore her like that? "Well? What do you have to say for yourself? Now that you've proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're without any morals or scruples at all, what do you have to say? Are you proud of all you've accomplished? Are you happy that you've destroyed your relationship with your sister, as well as crushed a perfectly innocent boy? WELL?!?" She was making wild accusations – she had no proof that Nabiki had told the school about Ranma. But she didn't care. Akane was too far immersed in rage to notice anything but the red that tinged her vision. Nabiki still refused to answer, so Akane decided to get physical. She bent down and hefted the older girl to her feet. "SAY SOMETHING!!!" screamed the younger girl to her sister. Nabiki just continued to shake her head back and forth, maintaining the silence that so enraged Akane. "Damn it, Nabiki, say something for yourself!!!" Akane forced Nabiki's hands away from her face. What she saw there made her gasp in surprise. Nabiki was crying. The anger that had been so unyielding, so relentless, like the constant rolling thrusts of the tide, ebbed and waned, leaving Akane's mind strangely clear. She looked upon the tear-streaked face of her older sister and replayed the previous few minutes in her head. Nabiki had obviously been disturbed by something, but Akane had been too angry to notice anything. She had started yelling at the sobbing girl, not even aware of the fragility that her older sister exuded. "Nabiki," started Akane lamely, lowing her voice to a volume and pitch that she thought was soothing. "Nabiki, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said all of that. I shouldn't have accused you of doing that to Ranma. I know that you wouldn't- "  
  
"BUT I DID, AKANE!" Nabiki's scream made Akane cringe, pulling her hands back to her chest. A tense moment passed before the older sister spoke again, this time in a soft, shaky voice. "I did, Akane. I told the entire school about him. I sold the information to Kuno. After that, I started selling information about the scars he has, and about how he lost his speech." Nabiki's form shuddered. "I'm a horrible person, Akane. I don't even deserve to live." Whispering, she added, "I hope I die. I certainly deserve it."  
  
She HAD told everyone about Ranma? Why, that...no, Akane couldn't yell at her. That would just make the situation worse. She couldn't just let it pass, either, though. And...WHAT HAD NABIKI JUST SAID?!? "Nabiki, don't talk like that. You don't deserve to die." Akane wrapped her arms around Nabiki's shoulders and drew her into a soft embrace. "Yeah, Nabiki, you made mistakes. I'm not going to dance around that issue. But there is no way that what you did makes you deserve death. No way in hell, Nabiki, so just stop saying that right now." Akane hoped she was helping. She didn't want to lose Nabiki the way she had almost lost Ranma.  
  
Nabiki sobbed into her sister's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Akane. I'm so incredibly sorry."  
  
Akane just held her sister quietly, trying not to judge the fragile girl in her arms.  
  
After several minutes, Nabiki's sobs slowed, then eventually stopped. She sniffed once and looked up into Akane's eyes shamefully. "Why don't we tell each other what we know? You can tell me what you know, and then I can fill in any holes in the story."  
  
Nabiki's red eyes, while usually possessing a certain casual disregard for others, were filled to the brim with regret and remorse. For the first time that Akane could remember, her next oldest sister was obviously thinking of someone other than herself. "Yeah, we can do that," she said with a small smile. Akane brushed Nabiki's bangs out of her face as the older girl smiled tentatively. "We can do that right now."  
  
+++  
  
Ryoga Hibiki frowned yet again. Where was that stupid girl? "Excuse me, have you seen Akane Tendo?"  
  
"No," replied the girl, "I haven't. I'm sorry." She briskly walked away before Ryoga could ask her anything more.  
  
"HGHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!" seethed the eternally lost boy. "WHERE THE HELL IS AKANE TENDO?!?"  
  
"Were you looking for me?"  
  
Ryoga spun around to come face-to-face with a girl about his age. She had long, blue-black hair, and she was accompanied by a slightly taller girl with brown hair cut short. "Are you Akane Tendo?" asked the boy of the one with brown hair.  
  
Unfortunately for Ryoga, she shook her head. "Nope. Sorry."  
  
"WHY DO YOU PLAY GAMES WITH ME?!?" he roared, consumed with anger. His glare at the brown-haired girl caused her to flinch behind her friend.  
  
"Hey!" exclaimed the longhaired girl. "What the hell is your problem? She didn't do anything to you!"  
  
Clenching his teeth, the fanged boy asked quietly, "Are YOU Akane Tendo?"  
  
"Actually, yes I am."  
  
Ryoga, not expecting this answer, was struck dumb. He just stared at Akane for a full minute before asking incredulously, "Really?"  
  
She nodded, a frown on her face. "Yes, and this is my sister, Nabiki Tendo. I'm kind of wondering why exactly you chose to scare her half to death just now, if you don't mind."  
  
The boy blushed and bowed. "I'm really very sorry about that. I've just been looking for you all morning, and I haven't been able to find you until now. I hope you'll forgive me."  
  
Peeking out from behind her sister, Nabiki nodded hesitantly. "Sure, no problem."  
  
"That's better," said Akane, a bit more relaxed. At least the boy had apologized. "So, you were looking for me?"  
  
"Ah, yes," he chuckled nervously. "I was told that you know the whereabouts of one Ranma Saotome?"  
  
"Ranma?" Nabiki and Akane chorused.  
  
Nervously taking a step back at the girls' hard stares, Ryoga replied, "Y- yes, Ranma. I was told he was staying with you?"  
  
"How do you know him?" the two girls replied in unison, looking directly into the boy's eyes. If this boy wanted to mess with Ranma, the two Tendo sisters had to get rid of him.  
  
Another nervous step backward put Ryoga's back to the wall surrounding Furinkan. "Um...he and I went to the same junior high school." He gulped audibly. These two were intimidating, to say the least. Fortunately, both girls smiled after he said that. Inwardly, Ryoga sighed in relief. The situation had defused itself at last. Or so Ryoga hoped.  
  
"You're a friend of his?" The whole 'two bodies one mind' thing was getting kind of freaky.  
  
"You could say that," came the enigmatic reply. Ryoga wasn't exactly open about his feud with the other boy.  
  
"Then come on!" Each girl grabbed one of his hands and started dragging him away. "He'll be so happy to see you!" the pair chirped in unison.  
  
The eternally lost boy was far too confused and scared to think about his duel with Ranma.  
  
+++  
  
"I'm so glad that our children are getting along so well, Saotome." Soun Tendo was walking along the streets of Nerima with his oldest and dearest friend, Genma Saotome. The pair was walking toward the clinic of one Dr. Ono Tofu, the Tendo family's doctor for many years. The reason for this was that they thought that their children had conceived a child. In such a case, Akane would surely have gone to Dr. Tofu about it, and that was the rationale behind the visit. They were going to confront the good doctor and force him to spill the entire story. At first the Doctor would deny it, trying to save the reputations of his two young patrons. However, after a long and grueling staring match, the man would relent and spill the beans. Subsequently, Soun and Genma would go out and get very, VERY drunk. Yes, the whole day was planned out.  
  
"As am I, old friend." Genma Saotome was smiling. He was also looking forward to the day's planned activities. Of course, he had no doubt in his mind that things WOULD go as planned. That's just the way Genma was.  
  
"Yes, Genma, I always knew that it would be so." Gazing off into the clear, blue sky, Soun reminisced about his days training with Genma. "We were such good friends, Saotome, that it is only natural that our children would carry on that friendship into the next generation – and possibly beyond."  
  
Genma exploded in laughter. "Right you are, Tendo! Right you are!"  
  
Soun joined in on Genma's joyous laughter for several minutes – drawing stares from several other people walking along the street – but suddenly stopped as he realized where he was. "Oh! Genma, the clinic is just around the corner!"  
  
Suddenly serious, Genma nodded. "Let's go, Soun."  
  
"Right."  
  
As they rounded the corner they both caught sight of Dr. Tofu's clinic. However, that wasn't what made them stop in their tracks. No, what made them freeze was the earth shatteringly loud scream of, "RANMA, PREPARE TO DIE!!!"  
  
///////////////////////////////////////  
  
Author's notes: Okay, this chapter is a bit off. I can tell already. I lost a whole lot of momentum on this story, and it was fairly hard to write it after so long a break. I honestly need anyone and everyone to give me some feedback on this.  
  
About the whole Ryoga thing toward the beginning: the reason for Ryoga's merciless beating of Ranma day after day will be explained next chapter, so just hold your horses. The reason the rest of the school joined in on Ranma's beating sessions will also be explained later. As for the reason Ryoga used rocks instead of his fists? Well, the school frowned upon fighting. There were some extremely harsh punishments if one was caught fighting, so the boys at the school had to find ways of injuring our protagonist without leaving any marks on their clothes or hands. Though the school suspected that something fishy was going on in Ranma's case, they couldn't prove anything, so they had to let it go. Genma's tolerance of the beatings Ryoga gave Ranma will be explained away next chapter, too, so BACK OFF.  
  
Pickles in a bucket with tartar sauce.  
  
This chapter was extremely slow, I know. It was set-up for action in the next chapter, so don't worry; I'm not going to just leave you guys hanging. It'll pick back up next chapter.  
  
About the extra super mega mondo 'I'm-so-stupefied-I-actually-wet-my-pants' 'Good-Lord-I-thought-he-was-dead' wait, I'm sorry. No excuses. No evasions. Just a whole lot of sorry.  
  
Nabiki's change toward the end of the chapter: if you were a person who had based her life around a set of values, and you suddenly realized that those values were the things you hated most in the world, how would you react? You'd be vulnerable, that's for sure. Nabiki has just had a complete change of lifestyle. She has found herself without anything on which to base her life. She's extremely vulnerable right now, and is basically depending on her sister for support until she can sort out her life. Also, she hasn't been getting much (any) sleep because of the guilt and shame she feels, which will also mess with her physiological and psychological self. That's why that happened.  
  
Now, I am anticipating getting a bit of 'guff,' as it were, about my portrayal of Nabiki. I know a lot of people who think that Nabiki is a cold- hearted ice queen, and that she is more closely related to a snake than to her sisters. Well, I just find that hard to believe. I mean, yeah, Nabiki has done some pretty nasty things in her life, up to and including extortion, fraud, blackmail, and a whole laundry list of other things; but the whole reason she's the way she is stems from her mother's death. If her mother hadn't died and scarred Nabiki permanently, she wouldn't be the Nabiki we all know and love (at least I love her; I can't speak for the rest of you). That knowledge makes Nabiki seem like a much more fragile and vulnerable girl than is normally presumed. When she realized that she had hurt someone else in the way she herself had been hurt by her mother's death, she descended into a pit of self-loathing and despair. (I don't think anyone that had gone through that kind of grief would ever wish it on anyone else.)  
  
So that's that. Jingle bells, and all that rot.  
  
I don't know anything about the laws in Japan concerning a situation such as the one in which Ranma found himself at the beginning of the chapter. If he were to have actually injured a classmate in that manner, I'm not sure what would have happened. I'm also unsure about what would have happened had he in fact been declared mentally unstable. Hell, I don't even know the laws regarding that kind of thing in the U.S., and I live there! If anyone can help me with that kind of thing, I'd be most grateful. I don't want to seem ignorant or uninformed, but I'm ignorant and uninformed, so it's kind of hard, you know?  
  
ANY discrepancies concerning ANY of the situations in this story should be reported directly to:  
  
A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies  
  
RevChuck@PenPen.com  
  
Earth – your country, your city, your place of residence, your room, right behind you  
  
Thank you for your cooperation, and look out for that anvil above you.  
  
MADE YOU LOOK!!!  
  
Please don't hurt me.  
  
  
  
  
  
-A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies 


	5. Interlude: Interpretation (Pt. 1)

All the characters represented herein are not owned by the author.  
  
+++  
  
As I lay here, staring at the ceiling, I can do nothing but relive every painful experience in my short life. Nothing can keep my mind off of the pain of the cats' claws tearing into my flesh, or the disappointed face of my father after he found out that I would no longer be able to speak, or the more recent looks of disgust and unbridled hatred for me that were turned toward me after Akane or whoever told the entire school about my disfigurement, and how the first chance I had to start over in so many years was flushed down the toilet, just like everything else I try for, and the horrible feeling I got when those thugs tried to rape me, and the debilitating disgust in the pit of my stomach I had when I realized that I actually WANTED them to rape me, because it would have meant that someone actually thought I was attractive.if only I weren't restrained, I would be able to take my life. It's the only suitable thing I can think to do with it at this point. There's really nothing left for me.  
  
That last thought actually doesn't make sense. It assumes that there was something for me in the first place, which is obviously false. I was made to suffer, and I can't seem to beat fate by taking my own life and ending the perpetual cycle of tears and hatred that it has become.  
  
Crickets chirp outside my window.  
  
Tears slide down my face, unhindered by the grotesque grimace on my face as I bite my tongue, trying to open a wound so that I might bleed to death.  
  
There it goes. I can feel the small piece of flesh slide down my throat.  
  
The blood is pooling in my mouth, now. Maybe I could drown, if I don't swallow. Oh, please, just let me succeed, either way.  
  
Of course not. Tofu comes in to check on me. And he freaks out, naturally.  
  
Now I've not only got bandages in my mouth (like that should really matter to me anyway; I can't speak), but I've got restraints on my jaws. I can't even try to reopen the wound.  
  
I guess that's my lot in life. I'm made to suffer.  
  
The crickets keep on chirping. They go on with their lives, cheerfully giving music to the sleeping world, their own brand of harmony - a harmony of dissonance, if I listen intently enough. The multiple pitches clash and bounce off of one another, creating a kind of horribly beautiful music that captivates my very soul. Lord, I want to be that. I want to be that haunting melody, that accidental coming together of separate notes to form a disgustingly wonderful cacophony, appreciated by nothing but the still night air.  
  
Why am I not asleep? In the more impermanent sense, I mean. I should be sleeping right now. I'm tired - of life, to be sure, but I was referring to the physical fatigue I'm feeling from trying to break the bonds that bind me to the bed. Heh. I just alliterated without even trying. Or something like that. Fuck, I hate myself.  
  
A nagging memory at the back of my mind plagues me. What was it that I so desperately need to remember, but for which have no use?  
  
Akane. She's a nice girl. She hates me, to be sure, but she's a nice girl. If I were to have a girlfriend, I'd want someone like her.  
  
Bullshit. That's just the loneliness talking. She's attractive, definitely, but she's too temper mental and unstable for me. I'd want someone like Ms. Kasumi. She's sweet, caring, and would make me feel like I had value.  
  
But then again, isn't that a sin in and of itself? Coveting something you know you don't deserve? I thought the Christians had something like that they weren't supposed to do. Either way, though, I know I shouldn't wish for something like that. I don't deserve something like that. I don't deserve someone like Kasumi at all. Shit, I don't deserve anyone.  
  
That God damn melody keeps weaseling its way back into my forebrain. The crickets just keep on hammering away at their little instruments, or whatever, not caring that I am lying in this bed right now, evaluating my life and my mind, wishing for someone or something to come along and destroy me once and for all.  
  
Why can't I have a sense of purpose like that? Why can't I be driven to do something so forcefully that I don't care who or what ignores or criticizes me, but keep on going just to get it done? Why is that?  
  
Perhaps because the gods want me to suffer? Geez, I say that a lot.  
  
Do the gods want anyone else to suffer like I have? Do they want more than just me to go through their lives, hating and fearing everyone and everything, just waiting for the sweet embrace of death, the eternal darkness that promises an end to the barbs of living? Or am I the only one?  
  
I guess that's kind of like asking whether or not there is life on other planets. There are far too many people - or planets, depending on which question you're answering - out there to think that only one is that way. But you don't want to believe it, because you're self-centered and arrogant. You want to be the only one of something, and you just can't bear to accept even the most remote possibility that someone else, somewhere out there, is the same as you.  
  
Or perhaps you're searching for that sameness with such an earnest need that you're afraid of what you might find, and therefore reject it.  
  
Or perhaps you're a freak in a hospital bed with far too much on his mind for the middle of the fucking night.  
  
But is loneliness the paramount of human existence? It sure seems like it to me.  
  
Shit. I can't handle this.  
  
I can't handle anything.  
  
But.is anyone else like that? Is anyone else out there going through the same things I am? Is anyone else looking for just a little bit of kindness to prove that they're at least human enough to deserve to live?  
  
I hate myself so much. But I love those damned crickets.  
  
If there is anyone else out there like me, I want to meet him. I want to make him believe that he is worth something, that he deserves love and kindness just as much as the next person. Because I don't want someone going through the same kind of shit I am right now. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.  
  
So maybe that's my purpose in life.? Is that what I should do? Should I stop trying to beat life, and just start trying to improve it?  
  
Damn it. In that case - if life is all about helping others - why is everyone so mean to me? Why does everyone hate me so much?  
  
It's all about perspective. I remember hearing that, once.  
  
Maybe they're not being mean to me, but it's just my perspective that makes it seem that way.  
  
Maybe I need a frontal lobotomy.  
  
Maybe those crickets should cut a CD deal.  
  
Any way you cut it, though, I need to stop pissing and moaning about my life. Maybe I should even go to sleep. I should most definitely go about trying to figure out my lot in life - if I even have one - but that comes after I get out of this damned hospital. Fucking.damn restraints. I can't even scratch my wounds. They itch like the dickens!  
  
Sleep it is, then. Followed by some major-league role-searching by one Ranma Saotome. And maybe a snack or two. I'm kind of hungry.  
  
As I drift off to sleep, I realize somewhere in the back of my mind that I haven't thought about suicide for a while.  
  
+++  
  
I wrote this for two reasons. First off, I thought that it was necessary to get more of a glimpse into Ranma's mind. I will probably be doing this with other characters, as well, as the story progresses. (Yes, Nabiki will most likely be next. I understand that a lot of people are unclear on Nabiki's intentions and mental state, and to be honest, so am I. So I WILL be delving deeply into that which is Nabiki, and I'll most likely be just as surprised as you all to see what I find.) Secondly, I really needed something to get me back in the mood for writing. I've been kind of...lazy...for a while, and I needed to get something out to my readers (if I have any left) so that they wouldn't come to my house and lynch me. This was that which would ultimately let me continue work on chapter 5 of To Know Pain. (I'm gonna blame these past two weeks of inactivity on the fact that I had my tonsils out and have been unable to eat or talk or function in society. It has been the most painful experience in recent memory. I would rather blow my knee out AGAIN than go through another tonsillectomy. Never, EVER do it, if you haven't already made that horrible mistake. I literally didn't eat for three days. Lost ten pounds in a WEEK, which sux0rz, and I'm just now starting to eat regularly again. KILL DOCTORS!!! ...or not. Whatever. Geez, I'm just rambling, now. So how are you? Good? That's nice. I'm glad to hear that. So how's da kidz? Still juvenile delinquents? Good, good. I'm happy for you.)  
  
Heh. I'm funny.  
  
...LOOKING!!!! OOOH! WHAT?  
  
  
  
...Anyway, I'm listening to Yoko Kanno's beautiful work on the Escaflowne movie sountrack right now. She 0\/\/nz0rz, m4n. Sh3 r0x0rz my b0x0rz. j00 |\|33d t0 s|\|4g d47 s0|_||\|d7r4c|, d|_|d3z.  
  
Okay, so that's my little experiment with l337-talk. Gomen.  
  
But, yeah. I suggest that soundtrack, especially if you're writing or reading a drama, or something. It's relaxing. Some other good stuff that she's done and that I recommend are the Macross Plus soundtrack and the Cowboy Bebop soundtracks. They 0w|\|z0r.  
  
So...yeah. It's late, but not late enough, so I'm gonna go write some more on the next chapter, 'kay? Hope to have it out soon. And by soon I mean within one or two months. ::Ducks behind desk::  
  
...~A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies? 


	6. Interlude: Interpretation Pt 2

As I walk through the streets of Nerima with my sister and the strange boy that may or may not be able to help our comrade Ranma, I wonder about myself. I speculate on my life and my past choices, and how they have affected where I find myself today. I think about all the things that have happened to me, and I just...what would I be doing if that hadn't happened? I mean, I suppose this is kind of childish for me to be doing, but...doesn't everyone ask themselves similar questions at some point in his/her life?  
  
My life...the life of Nabiki Tendo...has been dominated by money for...too damn long. I can barely remember when I did something for someone else out of the goodness of my heart. Hell, I'm not even sure that that has ever happened!  
  
And my lifestyle has brought into being a horrible calamity, a monstrous SNAFU that no one will ever be able to fix.  
  
A tear runs down my face, but I wipe it away quickly, before anyone can notice.  
  
Damn you, Nabiki, with your greedy nature...  
  
I wonder...why, exactly, would I do something like that? Why would I just go and sell secrets about someone I barely know to the entire high school? I mean, at the time, it must have made sense, but as of right now, I can't seem to recall what I was thinking. What...I mean, would I want someone telling the entire world about something I had buried in my past? No, of course not! So why would I go and do that to Ranma?  
  
All questions and no answers - just like the Nabiki of old.  
  
My life has been wasted on the pursuit of the almighty yen. True, I've been doing it so we can keep the dojo, but...there has to have been some other, more honorable and legit way of making the money, right? Did I actually HAVE to go and blackmail everyone within a twenty kilometer radius?  
  
Of course not.  
  
And now karma is coming back to get me.  
  
The horrible realization of my crimes has finally hit me, and I don't know what to do.  
  
Lord, I wish I knew what to do.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
Wow. This is actually rather old. There are two reasons I am posting something so old: first off, I like it, and am surprised that I have not already posted it; secondly, I want to give people a heads up about TKP (if anyone is still waiting after all this time). I AM working on the next chapter of TKP. In fact, the draft is sitting not a foot to my left, holding my Sprite © or ® or whatever can. I AM sorry for the delay, but you don't believe me, as well you shouldn't. I'm kind of a bastard like that.  
  
I was going through some of my older writing, and I'll probably be posting some more of that, too. Meh. I dunno. Right now, I'm just getting back into the mood for writing. I don't know what happened, there, for a while. I mean, I was writing literally every day for a while, but now, I have to force myself to sit down and do even this short little rant. Bleh.  
  
But yeah, more stuff is coming. Fear not, citizens.  
  
Wow. I had to go back through this to fix all of the ellipses (some messed up thing with MS Word and the autoformat feature, or something), and I realized that I REALLY like the ellipse. I used it quite a bit in this little story, here. Just an observation. 


	7. Confrontation

"…ma?" Ranma opened his eyes to see Kasumi sitting over him, holding a small porcelain bowl and a washcloth. "Good morning, Ranma. I'm here to help wash your face, okay? So try to hold still." Her trembling lips pressed into a smile and she brought the damp cloth toward Ranma's face.

He jerked his head away, but it was too late. The water dripped onto his forehead – make that _her_ forehead – and she could feel the change wash over her. Kasumi yelped and dropped the bowl to shatter on the floor, startled both by Ranma's transformation and his reaction. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot…"

Something was wrong with Ranma. Or something was right. She'd changed, she realized that, but the bandages in her mouth, on her skin, weren't hiding anything anymore. Weren't hiding anything? The pain was gone. _The pain is gone. What did you do to me, Kasumi?_

"Do you need me to get you anything? I'm so sorry!" The older girl busied herself cleaning up the bits of porcelain, mumbling to keep herself from thinking about anything. "Here, let me just get this cleaned up and I'll get you some hot water, okay? You don't need to wash your face, it'll be all right, I promise. Oh, I'm so clumsy, I'm sorry, you just startled me. Not that it's your fault, it's my fault, but…"

Ranma wished that Kasumi would just shut up. He was trying to think. How… what happened? His tongue felt fine. His skin felt fine. His strength was back. _My strength is back?_ Restraints groaned, then snapped. Kasumi's yelp was followed by a gasp of amazement as Ranma ripped the restraints off of his mouth, the bandages off of his tongue. There were no contusions. There was no trace of any wound.

Eyes wide, Kasumi could do nothing but watch as the young girl removed her bandages with trembling hands. There… nothing. There was nothing. This was impossible.

Dr. Tofu threw open the door and gasped. "Ranma, how…" He trailed off into open-mouthed amazement. The scars on Ranma's body were the only signs of trauma. Even by magical standards, this was amazing. Thoughts raced through his head so quickly that he didn't even realize he was speaking aloud. "Amazing! The Jusenkyo curse must…. It _must_ be the curse! The original curse was of a girl, yes? Yes, yes. A girl in perfect health. It must be that the curse is an exact replication of the original body. Perfectly healthy.... So anything that happens to male Ranma – Yes! – anything that happens to male Ranma can be reversed by activating the curse! Amazing! Amazing!"

Smooth skin met bumpy scars, but they were normal. As normal as Ranma got. Nothing was wrong. Had Dr. Tofu spoken? The curse saved him? What? _How?_ Astonished, she continued to remove the bandages, forgetting for a moment that she was letting her scars be seen.

********************************

Ranma had calmed down enough to bathe – under strict supervision by Dr. Tofu, of course – and dress. He was still in shock. Everyone was, but Kasumi and Dr. Tofu were in pleasant shock. Ranma was in dismayed shock.

'So what you're telling me, Dr. Tofu,' Ranma had written, 'is that if I had been cursed when I received the Neko-Ken training, I would have been fine?' Tofu smiled and nodded, completely absorbed in this new discovery.

Great.

Still didn't solve the problem of his scars, but at least he had something else to be depressed about.

_Shit._

Kasumi sat down across from Ranma at the small table, set down a cup of tea. "I'm glad to see that you're feeling better, Ranma." She smiled sweetly and Ranma had to look away. _You don't deserve that, Ranma. Besides, she's just lying to you again._

Tofu nodded, sipping his own tea. "It's amazing, it really is. This could mean a lot of different things for you, young man." Ranma snorted. "No, really! You can heal from any wound! Well, I would imagine there are some limits, but still! Isn't this exciting to you?" The young man shook his head solemnly, then reached for a pen. 'Means it'll be harder for me to disappear.'

"Oh, Ranma, why would you say such things?!" Kasumi was angry. "We all care for you, and you keep saying things like that? Stop being so selfish!"

"Now, Kasumi…" started the Doctor, but Ranma interrupted them both by slamming his hands down on the table. His tea cup fell over, spilling the hot liquid to pool around his hands.

Ranma's heart hardened in that moment, and he made a decision.

_Good._

Heavy breathing formed the ambient noise in that room for a full half-minute before Ranma stood up and looked straight into Kasumi's eyes.

Then he had to look away to find a pen and some dry paper. _Way to kill the mood, Body_. Ranma snorted to himself.

'That's not what I meant. Not anymore. I'm through running like that. Running only means that I leave myself open to attack, that I'm vulnerable – even to three untrained thugs who want to _rape me._' The pen broke in half, but Ranma barely noticed. He picked up the front end and continued writing. 'So that's it, no more running. But I'm also through accepting help from people – people like you. So, whatever your reasons for helping me, thanks, I guess. But I'm leaving. I do not belong in your happy world of high school and friends. I need to go and get this curse lifted, and I need to live by myself, far away from everyone else, to perfect my martial arts. That's the only way I'm going to be happy – by being completely alone.'

"That's running, too!" Akane's voice came from behind Ranma, startling him and making him whirl around into a battle stance. The girl's face was flushed from running, but her eyes were concerned as they moved from the paper to his face. "That's running away just as surely as killing yourself!"

Ranma shrugged, wrote, 'Well at least it's better than getting hurt every time I meet someone new. I can't get rejected by people like you if I never meet them.'

Akane's battle aura flared. "You jerk, who the hell do you think you are? Reject you? All I've been doing since I met you is worrying about you!"

'I don't want your pity.'

"PITY?!?" The punch came swiftly, catching Ranma in the stomach and causing him to crumple like a tin can. "Ranma, I don't know how Dr. Tofu cured you so quickly, but so help me if you keep putting words into my mouth, I'll put you right back into that hospital bed." Ranma coughed silently and looked up, but Akane ploughed forward. "I don't pity you! Well, okay," she corrected herself, "maybe I do a little. But that's not why I'm helping you. I'm helping you because, like it or not, you're a friend of the family. Your father and my father are friends, and that means I have an obligation to help you."

'Ah.' Ranma smirked. 'So you're only helping me because of Father?'

A shamed blush crept onto the girl's face as she replied. "No, that's not all of it. I… thought that maybe we could be friends, too, you know?"

Ranma scribbled some more, handed the paper to Akane. 'Listen, don't lie to yourself. The only reason you're doing any of this is because you feel sorry for me. You think it's crazy that my father would tie cat food to my body and throw me in a pit – that disgusts you. You think it's sad, and you want to help. I get that. But don't, for my sake and for yours, don't read too much into that feeling. It's pity. And I don't want it.'

"What's he writing, Akane?" Kasumi sounded worried.

"So the hell what?!?" Akane let a tear slide down her face as she raged at the scarred boy in front of her. "So what if it is? So what if I'm a bad person for pitying you? Everyone has something to be ashamed of, Ranma, even you! You're a jerk! You're selfish! All we've been doing – all of us," she gestured to Kasumi and the Doctor, "- is trying to help you! It shouldn't matter why, it should just matter that we are!"

Dr. Tofu was the first to catch on to the half-conversation he'd been hearing. "Ranma, people do things for different reasons. Pity, love, just plain kindness – all of these things drive human action. But to oversimplify those actions based solely on their driving force does the person an injustice. Pity by itself is neutral – pity and kindness mean help, pity and hostility mean derision." Ranma shook his head, but Tofu forestalled any further reaction. "I am helping you because I think you need help. If you refuse my help, I will stop. But please don't think I'm doing it for myself, to satiate some 'pity-rule' in my life. I'm doing it for you."

Kasumi and Akane nodded. But Ranma just snorted. _Shit. I don't care. Don't help me, I don't deserve it. I'm useless, all I do is cause trouble, and you should just leave me the hell alone. Why the fuck don't you people take a hint? I hate myself! By helping me, you're hurting me!_ Tears threatened to overflow, but the boy squeezed them back. _No. Pity is not something that can be used for good. Pity is a despicable thing. Live your whole life under the influence of pity, then come to speak to me of its neutrality. Pity. Pfaugh. I've no use for it. _Ranma wrote a single word on his paper and laid it on the table. 'Goodbye.'

Akane's rage exploded again. "Fine! You jackass! If you're going to be a stubborn jerk about it, then leave! And to think I came all this way to tell you that Ryoga is-" Ranma moved so quickly that no one even had a chance to react. His fist bunched the front of Akane's blouse, his face scant centimeters from hers. The question in his eyes was plain enough. "Yes, Ranma, your friend Ryoga is here. He came to school looking for you, so Nabiki and I offered to lead him here." Ranma's head was reeling. He had to sit down. _Ryoga? Here?_ "I ran ahead to tell you the good news, but the two of them should be here any minute."

_Any minute._ Thoughts rushed through his head, enough to drown out the questions from Kasumi and the Doctor. _Any minute? What is Ryoga doing here? How did he find me? WHY did he find me? Any minute…_. _Will we fight? Of course we'll fight. Will I fight back this time? If I do, will I hurt him? Can I control myself enough to just knock him out, so I can escape?_ Ranma's hands trembled as they rose to cover his face. _No. No, I can't. I don't. He'll be here any minute, and I'll hurt him, maybe kill him, and I'll go to jail – for real this time – and that will be that. Deep breaths. Deep, calming breaths. I have to get out of here. What happened to those perverts from the other night? NO! I hope they're dead. They deserve it. So do I, but that's neither here nor there. Ryoga. Here. Shit._

Ranma stood just as the door opened behind Akane, to admit Nabiki and a fanged youth.

Ryoga smiled.

******************

"Ranma! Prepare to die!" That voice tickled the back of Genma's memory. Did he know that voice? From where…?

A loud explosion rocked the neighborhood, and Ryoga landed in front of the two friends on the street. Ranma, clad in his regular black shirt and pants, landed softly in front of the three.

Fangs glinted in another smile. "Good to see that you've not forgotten me." Picking himself up slowly, the new boy dusted off his pants. "You know, Ranma, I've been following you ever since you ran out on our duel."

"Ryoga! Ryoga Hibiki!" Genma smiled and snapped his fingers. "Now I remember you! But I thought you and Ranma were friends."

Ranma shook his head. Ryoga just laughed. "Hardly. This freak has no business existing, let alone being my friend." An accusatory finger flew at Ranma. "You ran out on our duel, Ranma, and I've been trying to catch you ever since. My travels have brought me all over the world – even to Jusenkyo." Ranma's eyes widened. "Yes, I followed you to China. And I bear a curse of my own now, thanks to you!" Dr. Tofu and the three Tendo sisters arrived at the scene, worried frowns on each face. "I'm a freak like you, now, Ranma! And you'll pay for that! Prepare to die!"

Ryoga charged, and Kasumi yelled "No!"

But it was too late.

Ranma sidestepped the blow, grabbed Ryoga's outstretched arm, and applied just enough force at the elbow to break it.

"NO!" yelled Kasumi again. Genma looked on with pride in his eyes. The rest just stared.

"DAMN YOU RANMA!" Ryoga heaved himself to his feet and came again. Ranma broke the boy's other arm. Murder in his eyes, Ryoga leveled a desperate kick at Ranma's head. That appendage broke just as easily.

"Ranma, stop!" Akane and Nabiki yelled at the same time.

Genma yelled "That's my boy! Unbeatable in combat!"

_This man is responsible for a lifetime's allotment of pain._ Ranma advanced a step, no expression on his face. _He turned the entire school against you._ Another step, and a smile crept onto his face. _And now he's at your mercy, Ranma. You can end his life just as easily as you've broken his limbs._ A silent laugh, another step. _Do it._ "Don't do it!" yelled Kasumi, tears streaming down her face. _Do it._ Another step. Dr. Tofu started running toward the pair of boys, but knew he'd never make it in time. "Do it," gasped Ryoga through the pain. "I couldn't stand living if I lost to a freak like you." _Do it now._ The final step. _DO IT._ "Ranma, don't do it!" Genma finally realized what was about to happen, and he didn't want his son in jail.

_KILL HIM!_

"I can't be friends with a murderer!"

Akane's shout stopped the blow just long enough for Tofu to reach the quarreling boys. Two swift taps to Ranma's neck and he slumped to the ground, asleep.

Ryoga just growled, "NO! Why did you stop him? This was a fight between men!" Two more taps, and the bleeding boy was silenced.

Akane ran over to Dr. Tofu and hugged him unabashedly. Nabiki fainted, but Kasumi managed to catch her before she hit the ground. Genma and Soun just looked at each other askance.

*******************

Ryoga woke up in a hospital bed. "Wha…?" He sat up, saw no one was in the room, and looked down at his legs. They were both fine. "What? How…?"

Dr. Tofu cracked the door and peeked his head in. "Ah, Ryoga. Good to see you're awake."

"You're the one who stopped the fight!" He shook his head. "Never mind. How am I all right? He broke my arms and legs!"

The Doctor smiled and stepped the rest of his body into the room. "Ah, that's just one of the side effects of your curse, Ryoga. If you get hurt, you can just trigger the curse to heal yourself."

A slow smile crept onto his face, revealing his trademark fangs. "Really? That's… useful."

"Incidentally," remarked Tofu casually, the smile disappearing from his face, "if you try to attack Ranma again, I will be forced to stop you. I'm not unskilled in the martial arts, myself."

"Oh, don't worry about that," chuckled Ryoga as he stood up. He noticed the pile of his clothes on a nearby chair and started dressing. "I now realize that I'm no match for Ranma. I've got more training to do before I come back and try to kill him again."

A prominent scowl graced the doctor's face. "Saying something like that, do you really think I can let you leave here?"

More laughter, then silence as Ryoga finished dressing. He turned toward the doorway and smiled, fastening his bandana across his brow. "You can keep the pack. I'll just get another one." And he jumped out the window before Dr. Tofu could react.

When Tofu reached the window, it was too late. There was no sign of Ryoga Hibiki.

******

Ranma woke in much the same way, staring at a blank hospital ceiling. _This is getting to be a habit._ He chuckled to himself. _God I'm useless_.

He, however, was not alone. The three Tendo sisters sat beside the bed, talking quietly amongst themselves. Ranma took the opportunity to eavesdrop and closed his eyes again. _I may as well act the degenerate asshole. That's what I am._

"…I don't need your forgiveness," Nabiki was saying to her sisters. "I could never deserve it anyway. What I need is the opportunity to help Ranma, in any way I can." _You three are cut from the same cloth, all right. I don't want your help!_

Kasumi replied in a heated tone, "How do you think I can allow you near him after learning what you did? You profited off of his disfigurement, Nabiki!" _That's good to know. Nabiki is an enemy._

"I know!" Nabiki's exclamation was almost a cry. "I know, okay? I'm not proud of it. I'm going to carry that burden with me for the rest of my life." _I don't buy it. You're my enemy now, Nabiki, now and forever._ "What I'm trying to do is make up for the hurt I've caused him." _Fat chance._ "I know there's no chance of that, but I've got to try. I owe him that much, at least."

"He doesn't want your pity, you know." Akane spoke softly. _Finally, someone understands._

"I don't care! I'm going to help him whether he likes it or not. Whether you like it or not, too."

Kasumi was quiet for a moment before responding. "Nabiki, you're my sister and I love you. I… don't know if I can forgive you for what you've done to this young man, but I'll always love you. And if you are truly determined to help Ranma, then that's good enough for me." Ranma thought he could _hear_ Kasumi smile. "I will welcome your help."

Akane spoke again. "You two don't get it, do you? He's hurt. He's… damaged goods." _Got that right._ "He'll only see your help as a burden to bear. He doesn't want a mother, Kasumi, or a pity-party, Nabiki. What he wants – what he needs – is a friend."

…

"I hope to be that friend." Akane leaned over and brushed the hair out of Ranma's face. The boy reacted without thinking, grabbing her hand and sitting bolt-upright in bed. "Oh!" Akane gasped, startled. "You're awake, Ranma? How… how much did you hear?" She extricated her hand from his grip and blushed faintly.

Ranma's gaze shifted from Akane to Nabiki. He scowled and raised a single finger in her direction, eliciting gasps from the sisters. He then reached over to the paper and pen sitting beside the bed - _I hate how they're already used to my deformity_ – and wrote a sentence to Nabiki: 'Leave me alone forever.'

Nabiki bowed her head. She stayed that way for a second, then raised her head and spoke, a pair of tears trickling down her face. "No. I'm never going to be able to atone for my sins, but my life is yours nonetheless. Anything you want – anything you need – you will get from me. Whether you like it or not." Her eyes held the too-familiar pity, and determination.

Disgusted, Ranma turned back to Akane. The raven-haired girl was looking at him with – no, not pity – genuine affection in her eyes? _Is that what that looks like?_ Her soft skin held the faintest tinge of pink, and her face was perfectly framed by her long hair. _She really is cute, even if she is nuttier than a fruitcake_.

"Ranma, I know Nabiki well enough to realize that she truly regrets her actions." When Ranma turned his head back toward the eldest Tendo sister, the sun shone in through the window and illuminated her long, brown hair so… beautifully that he had to look away. "You don't have to forgive her, but at least allow her to try and help you."

_What is going on here?_ Ranma's face was getting hot, and he started to fidget nervously. He looked back to Nabiki, who was still red-eyed, but staring at him resolutely. Her strong features and short-cropped hair lent her an air of authority, of strength. _Oh, you've got to be kidding me._

A deep breath preceded another note. 'I'm leaving tomorrow. Don't try and follow me.'

Akane read the note and forestalled any comments by her sisters with a raised hand. "Fine, Ranma, if that's what you want." The other three people in the room looked at her with astonishment. "But I want to make a proposition, first." _…What is going on here?_ The pen moved quickly, but Akane's hand was quicker. "No, Ranma, let me speak my piece."

"Akane-" started Kasumi, but again she raised her hand in a command for silence.

"In a minute, big sister. Ranma," she turned back to him, "we kind of got off on the wrong foot. I know it's mostly my fault, but some of it was yours, too." Ranma bristled at that comment. "So what I'm proposing is we start over. No pity from me, no hostility from you. Erase and start again. Maybe we can be friends this time?"

Ranma's mind raced. _This… this girl is lying to you again, Ranma. She's just doing this because she feels sorry for you. Another girl feels pity for you._

_But what if it's not? What if… what if I can actually get a friend from this?_

_Idiot! Isn't that what Ryoga said at first? And look what just happened!_

_Ryoga! Where is he?_ Ranma tried to stand, but Akane's hand on his chest forestalled him. "No, Ranma, not until I get an answer."

Akane's hand warmed Ranma's chest. He blushed again. _Is… is this for real?_

_Am I dreaming? _

The look in Akane's eyes suggested that it was the real deal.

_NO! She's a liar and a cheat! She told the whole school about you!_

_That was Nabiki. She said so herself. Akane… maybe she really wants to be friends?_

_She saw your scars! She knows you're dirty! She knows you tried to kill yourself!_

_I NEVER! It was an accident! I just had to get the dirt.... I'm so dirty…_

_Yes, you are. You're a dirty little insect. You don't deserve these people in your life._

…_But what if you're wrong?_

_I'm not. I'm always right._

_No, you're not. You're me. I'm always wrong, which means you're always wrong._

_That's a backwards way of looking at things._

_Shut up! I'm always wrong! I'm useless, worthless. That means that these people, these girls here, are the ones who have worth, who are right._

_No!_

_Which means that I… I must be worth something?_

_NO! You're a dried-up husk of a human being._

_But I was human once! Maybe I can be human again!_

_You're a monster, and worthless to boot! You deserve death!_

_NO! I'm done listening to you! Go away!_

_I AM you, you said so yourself! You can never be rid of me!_

_I'm done with you! From now on, I'm going to try to live my life! I'm going to try to be a good person, to exist in the world that shuns me! I'm going to grow, get better than the rotten world that spawned me, and I will win! I will not let this pathetic life beat me, and I will not let you stop me!_

Ranma grabbed his head and screamed silently to himself, _I can make my life better!_

Ranma Saotome panted heavily, still clutching his head in his hands.

He feebly reached for his pen and paper.

'Perhaps we can start over.

I'm Ranma Saotome. Nice to meet you.'

**************

Mmmmmmmmmmyep.


	8. Initiation

Ranma lay back and let the familiar haze of liquor wash over him. A small smile slipped through his defenses and manifested itself on his face. He suppressed that quickly. _No worries, I don't think she saw. _The girl sitting next to him continued to stare up at the stars. _Nope. Still good._

What a day.

************

Ranma swung his feet off the bed and stood shakily, still a bit disoriented by the fight and being knocked out. He bowed formally to Akane, who returned the gesture with a hearty smile.

Kasumi stood and bowed, then, and Ranma repeated. When Nabiki stood, however, Ranma made a point of sitting back down on the bed. The middle Tendo's face fell. _Serves you right._

Suddenly, Ranma and Akane's fathers were in the room, giving out little Japanese flags and capering around the room. "Oh, I'm so glad that you and Akane are having a baby!"

Akane's face turned red and she began to yell at her father. "WHAT?!? Who told you that?"

Soun smiled affectionately at his baby girl. "Oh, come now, you don't think you can hide anything from your father, do you?" Akane merely turned a mortified expression on Nabiki, who hastily shook her head no.

Ranma punched his father in the chest to avoid being hugged. Every bit as red as Akane, he managed to pen 'She's NOT having my baby!'

"Darn right! What has gotten into you, Daddy?"

Kasumi smiled. "Oh, dear, there seems to have been a misunderstanding.

***********

When everyone had calmed down, Kasumi went though what had "actually" happened – the concocted story of research on Jusenkyo. Luckily, Dr. Tofu had puzzled out Ranma's miraculous healing abilities, which helped sway the two fathers some.

"Well," laughed Genma, "I THOUGHT it was a bit quick, even for a manly son like mine!"

"Right you are, Saotome, right you are!" He laughed heartily as well. "My little girl has had nothing but trouble with boys up till now, so maybe we were a bit premature."

Suddenly serious, the two friends looked at their respective children. "Now, when shall we schedule the wedding?"

********

Ranma left Kasumi and Dr. Tofu to tend to his father and Mr. Tendo. He and Akane had knocked out their fathers, then hastily retreated, separately. It didn't take but thirty seconds of avoiding each other's gaze to convince Ranma he needed to run a few errands. Akane had to go back to school, too, and ran off before anyone could say word one.

Nabiki cleared her throat delicately. "I can accompany you if you'd like, Ranma. I'm familiar with the shopping district."

Ranma's stony visage gave her an answer.

So he had started toward the door when Kasumi spoke up. "Ranma, hold on, I need to run a few errands too." But Ranma knew better. _You're not fooling anyone, Kasumi. I can see the worry in your eyes. You think I'm going to go kill myself or something._

He clenched his fists, but managed to force a smile. 'I'm fine, really. I'll be back later, promise.' He handed Kasumi the pen and paper with what he hoped was a reassuring expression.

Reluctantly, Kasumi watched Ranma leave the office.

The town was big, but not hard to navigate. Ranma managed to find another pen to wear around his neck, and a brand new chalkboard – to replace the one he'd broken. _Man, I'm getting violent again._

Suddenly he was back on the street, his arm raised to kill Ryoga Hibiki. _Do it._

The martial artist shook his head to clear the vision. _No. I won't let you win, Ryoga. Dammit, I'm stronger than you._

A few hours of shopping can cure even the deepest depression, or at least that's what advertisers would like you to think. But Ranma returned to the Tendo household no better than when he had left the Doctor's office. The clock on the wall read only 5:30. Genma and Soun were already plastered, getting carried away with wedding plans he had no intention of participating in.

_A workout might be in order._

He changed and found his way to the dojo – making a few wrong turns along the way, including one into the bathroom he'd almost died in. But he eventually arrived and went through some forms.

His mind was blank as he concentrated all of his energy into his punches and kicks, his turns, the fluid movements, one into the next. Over, under, punch kick kick, jump, balance. Close your eyes; feel the enemy around you. Block, counter, punch punch. In and out, a dance of death.

_Do it_.

Ranma's punch connected with Ryoga, crushing his skull.

He opened his eyes.

An empty dojo.

It was dark outside. He must have lost track of time.

Suddenly, clapping. Ranma whirled around to see Akane standing in the doorway. "You're… you're really good." She nodded, envious. The black-haired girl had ditched her school uniform in favor of some plain jeans and a long-sleeved shirt.

Ranma just shook his mind clear again and grabbed a towel. Mopping his forehead, he noticed the long sleeves of his own shirt were practically dripping with sweat. _Oh, gross._

The girl walked over to meet him. "Really, it's true. Your forms just now were mesmerizing, and I was amazed at how quickly you moved… you know, earlier." She dropped her gaze and Ranma closed his eyes.

An uncomfortable moment passed. Then, "Well, Kasumi sent me to get you for dinner, but that was over two hours ago, so I'd imagine we're on our own." Ranma's gaze swept the room, but could not find a clock. "It's about 10:00."

_Wow. I __was__ in a zone, wasn't I?_

Akane coughed into her hand nervously. She began to fidget and glance around. "So, uh… being as neither of us have eaten, wanna go grab a bite? You know, get to know each other a bit?" Her unease was plain as she giggled. "You know, we're engaged and everything, so…"

Ranma didn't find that funny.

"I was just kidding, Ra…" Dark, liquid eyes dropped to the hardwood flooring. "Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

_No, don't. Don't do that. I'm sorry, I know I'm a jerk._ Ranma's hand reached out toward Akane's shoulder. A scar glistened in the artificial light, and he dropped the appendage. _I'm such a jackass._

"Anyway, sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." Akane turned to go, but this time Ranma's hand found its mark. Their eyes met.

Ranma reached for the pen around his neck, but grasped only air. _Oh, right, I took it off to train._ He let his arm fall again as he motioned for Akane to wait and jogged up to his room. He grabbed a few items and raced back downstairs, but Akane met him in the hallway. He held up a finger, began writing on his new chalkboard. 'I have to bathe first, but I _am_ hungry.'

Akane's smile was half happy, half relieved, and all beautiful.

_Oh, hell, what have I gotten myself into now?_

********

"'What's open this late?' Oh, you'd be surprised. You like ramen?" Akane smiled to herself as Ranma nodded enthusiastically. "Great. There's an all-night ramen shop a few miles from here, if you don't mind a hike." Another nod.

Akane had managed to kill the fifteen minutes it took for Ranma to bathe and dress, then they were off. Akane's mind was reeling, but she knew – she _knew_ – that Ranma needed a friend. He didn't need someone worrying over him, trying to make him feel better. So she held her tongue and smiled pleasantly as they walked through the darkened streets of Nerima.

"You know, this really is a nice place to live." She let her eyes drift up to the sky, taking in the stars absently. "It's busy, but still calm enough to go out walking on a clear night like tonight." She caught Ranma's small smirk and glance upward. Excellent.

A strange smile crept onto her face. "So, Ranma, what do you like to do? Besides martial arts, I mean?"

_What do I like to do BESIDES martial arts?_ Ranma searched his memory. _Do I _do_ anything besides martial arts? _Akane was waiting for an answer, though. He hastily scrawled on a piece of paper 'Manga?'

Akane's laughter echoed down the street. "You don't do anything besides martial arts, do you?" He shook his head with a sheepish smile and Akane laughed even harder. "Oh, Ranma, that's funny. You should really get yourself a hobby, though. I mean, you can't devote your whole life to fighting, can you?"

A cloud passed over Ranma's features and Akane immediately cursed to herself. How was she to know what was off-limits?

Ranma wrote a few words on his paper and handed it to Akane again. 'Pop doesn't like me having hobbies. Says they're a waste of time.' Her anger spiked, but she forced it back down. It wouldn't do to get angry just then. "Well, your father isn't around right now, is he? So what do you want to do? It's a Saturday night, mind you, so everything's open a bit later. We've got until at least midnight to do something." An idea struck her, and she blurted out before she could think twice, "Karaoke?"

Ranma stopped dead in his tracks, turned and started walking away. He dropped a piece of paper that said, 'Good night, Ms. Tendo.'

Oh, hell. "No, Ranma, Wait!" She ran to catch up to him, grabbed his arm. "Look, I'm sorry! I'm not very good at this, okay?" Ranma stopped walking, but refused to turn. "Ranma, please. I… I'm kind of clumsy when it comes to boys. And you're hardly a normal boy." Ranma tried to pull away, but Akane tightened her grip. "No, tha… I didn't mean that either. Just… I…" A shudder passed through her body. "I'm sorry, okay? Look, I won't talk anymore. I promise. Just, please come get some ramen with me?" She stepped around the boy's body to look into his eyes. "Please?"

A cat yowled in the night air.

Ranma nodded, reluctantly. _Whatever, I'm hungry anyway. Maybe she'll end up buying._

********

Akane did end up buying, and the two teens sat next to each other at the wooden counter, slurping their ramen contentedly. The place was actually pretty busy, but they'd managed to find a couple of recently-vacated stools.

Ranma ate voraciously. Akane was mortified, but forced herself to keep her eyes on her own bowl. Her mouth wasn't listening, however. "Geez, Ranma, do you chew your food?"

Ranma's head whipped around to stare at Akane, who cursed herself again. Noodles hung from the boy's mouth, dripping all over the counter. Like he'd stuffed a noddle-octopus in his mouth and it got stuck.

Akane started to laugh. She couldn't help herself, the laughter just spilled out. He looked like a two-year-old. Inside she was aghast at herself – what if Ranma though she was laughing at him? But she _was_ laughing at him. And she could do naught but try to stop the giggling, to no avail.

Eventually, much to the girl's relief, Ranma started laughing too. He swallowed his mouthful of noodles and wiped his face, laughing all the while.

They continued laughing like that for a while before getting their fits under control, and ignoring the looks from other customers. _Screw them, it feels good to laugh for a change_.

Ranma passed a note to Akane. 'Sorry, I'm pretty hungry after that workout, and I guess Pop didn't teach me very good manners.' "I'll say," smiled Akane. "But it's okay, you've earned the right to be sloppy this once." Ranma smiled again, and Akane's heart skipped a beat. Ranma was a tragic figure, but he was a handsome devil when he let his guard down.

She cleared her throat and went back to her own meal. "But next time we're going to _chew_ our food, all right Ranma?"

He nodded and went back to eating as well.

The rest of their meal passed uneventfully, and Akane preceded Ranma out into the cool evening air. "Well, still only 11:00. What do you want to do now?"

'I thought you said you weren't going to talk anymore.' Akane noticed a mischievous glint in Ranma's eye. "Oh, you…!" The crumpled piece of paper bounced off his forehead and he danced back a step, smiling.

He sobered suddenly. He seemed to do that a lot, this Ranma Saotome. Akane waited patiently, hoping that the night wasn't over. He still needed so much… No. If the night was over, it was over. She'd resolved to be a friend, not a worry-wart.

Ranma raised his eyes to spit Akane with his gaze. 'Wanna go back?'

Inwardly, Akane sighed. "Sure, Ranma. Let's go back."

But when she turned to walk home, Ranma scooped her up into his arms and bounded onto the roof of the ramen shop. "Wha… Ranma, put me down!" Akane blushed furiously, angry and embarrassed. But Ranma didn't even notice. He bounded from rooftop to rooftop, seemingly without effort, flying through the night air like some sort of bird. Akane was forced to throw her arms around Ranma's neck from fear of falling. "Ranma, what are you doing?!?"

Then they stopped, and the boy set Akane down onto a roof. "Idiot!" She slapped Ranma on the face, beet-red and furious. "What made you think you could do that?!? We could have died!"

_Shit. _Ranma's spirits fell immediately. She'd seemed so friendly before, but now… now she was furious with him. _God you're stupid, Ranma. _He backed up and bowed an apology. _You spend dinner with someone and already she hates you? What is that, some sort of record? _A grimace set on his face, Ranma turned to flee.

"NO!" Akane shouted. "Don't go, just… God, Ranma, you make this so hard…" She hugged her arms around her chest to calm her shaking.

_I know. I know I make it hard. That's what I've been trying to tell you. My life is shit, and I don't help anything._ Fists clenched and unclenched. He penned another note. 'Thank you for dinner. I'm sorry. I won't bother you again.'

"God damnit Ranma, will you stop that?" Akane was yelling again, still red in the face. "When I want to say something to you, _I'll_ say it, all right? Don't go putting words in my mouth!" She marched over to the apex of the roof, then sat with a 'hmph.' "Look. I-" She eyed the depressive martial artist carefully. "Come sit, all right?"

Ranma obeyed meekly. _Just… listen to what she has to say, then go to bed. You've already fucked this up beyond repair, so just give her what she wants and go._ The moon cast a strange light over the scene.

Akane took time to compose her thoughts before speaking. "I don't like it. Ranma, don't _do_ that. I don't know how things were where you grew up, but around here, people don't like being picked up and whisked halfway across the city to…" She noticed her surroundings for the first time. "…the roof of my house?"

Ranma nodded silently.

"Whatever." She shook her head and continued, "I'm… upset, but I'm not mad, all right? Just… if you want to go somewhere, just tell me where, and I'll follow. You don't have to manhandle me. Not to mention that I'm a girl and you're a boy."

Ranma's face flushed this time. 'I'm sorry about that. I can be a little impulsive.'

Hair bobbed in the moonlight as Akane nodded. "Darn right. Just… don't do it again, okay?" Ranma nodded. "Good. Now," she turned to look at her roof, "why did you bring me here?"

'Will you hold on? I need to go get something.'

"Sure." She shivered slightly as the chilly night air bit through her clothes, watched her fiancée-of-sorts jump effortlessly off the edge of the roof. "Man, that guy is something else." What kind of person is he, to just jump onto and off of roofs at a whim?

Then he was back, carrying a small bundle in his arms. "Well that was quick." Akane eyed the bundle as Ranma approached. "What have you got there?"

She recognized Ranma's chalkboard first. He set that down, then unwrapped a bottle of sake and two cups. "Oh, Ranma, we shouldn't-" But Ranma held up his hand to cut her off. He set the sake and cups down, then offered the blanket that had been holding the items.

It took Akane a couple of seconds to realize that he had gotten her a blanket because she was cold. "Thanks," she mumbled, embarrassedly taking the item and wrapping it around her shoulders.

Ranma nodded and sat next to her. He grabbed the chalkboard and wrote. 'If we're going to be friends,' – the character for 'friend' looked sloppy, like he'd had little practice writing it – 'then I want you to know a few things about me.' Akane started to speak, but Ranma cut her off with another hand gesture and more writing. 'Just… bear with me, okay? And don't worry about the sake: Pop will never know it's missing. He's passed out drunk right now anyway; he'll just think he had it.'

Akane nodded, uneasy, as Ranma poured two cups of sake and handed one to her. He raised his cup high, waited for Akane to do the same, then downed it in one pull.

Akane followed suit, but as the liquor hit her throat she started coughing, spit the liquid all over herself. Ranma bust out in silent laughter while Akane sputtered and tried to catch her breath. Finally in control of her own breathing, she gasped, "That's horrible! I've had sake before; this is turpentine!"

'Yeah, Pop doesn't drink anything you'd call "top-quality." Here, try again. Smaller sips this time.'

He refilled the cups and raised his own high. Akane's face contorted into a grimace, one she couldn't control. She could still feel a coat of that foul-tasting liquid on her tongue. "Ranma, do I have to-"

His face held a silent plea – Please, just bear with me.

She closed her eyes and raised her cup in a salute.

The second time she managed to keep it all down, but coughed all the same.

The third cup went down better. Akane was already starting to feel tingles in her toes.

_Man, this chick is a lightweight._ Ranma could see Akane's pupils start to dilate after the first cup, not to mention the second. He took the vessel from her hand and set it down, trading sake cups for his chalkboard and chalk. 'Sorry about that, it's just that I've never had someone to drink with me before.'

"No, no problem Ranma." Akane's eyes searched the boy's face. "Do you do this often?"

A shrug. 'I drink occasionally. It helps me to forget about my life.'

Silence.

Suddenly Ranma's hand was a blur as he wrote, erased, and wrote again. It was all Akane could do to follow the story, and Ranma didn't look up once. He was intent on getting this all out before he lost the nerve.

'I'm not what you'd call open about myself, so you have to understand that this is hard for me. I'm… I'm kind of putting myself out there for you, because you're not like anyone else I've ever met. You're nice to me – inexplicably so – and there are times I'm with you that I forget what a creep I am.

'So I'm doing this all at once, or not at all. Hence the liquor. Hence the rush to get here quickly, before… before I turn into a weak fool again.

'My whole life I've been a martial artist, traveling around with pops. At first, when I could still speak, it wasn't bad. Wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I was an outgoing child, made friends easily.

'Then the Neko-Ken happened, and that all changed.

'For a while I was in shock. I was young, so I cried a lot – and Pop made sure to let me know crying is a weak thing to do. "Real men don't cry," he'd say. So I stopped. Until recently, but, you know, that's not the point.

'Schools went by in a blur, mostly because I kept getting into fights. As I "healed" from the Neko-Ken, and I began to remove my bandages, the scars… My scars prevented me from wearing shorts or short-sleeved shirts. Not because I cared; because Pop didn't want anyone seeing such a sign of weakness.' At this, Ranma paused his hand for a second.

'I didn't understand too well at first, and I even went so far as to change into short-sleeves once I got to school. But the other kids weren't so nice to me.

'The fights. Over and over again I'd pummel some kid who made fun of the way I looked, and I'd have to go to the principal's office. I'd been suspended a couple times before Pop transferred me. Transferred me the first time, I should say. By then I'd learned to hide my scars, but the kids still knew, and the same thing happened again. I…

'I really, really hurt a kid once. He was a bully of epic proportions, and he hit me one day. I blacked out. Redded out. Whatever.' Another pause, Ranma's hand was shaking. 'The next thing I remember I was being taken off in a police car and the boy was in an ambulance.'

Akane gasped involuntarily. What had happened to the boy? No, no, the story was Ranma's to tell. He'd get there if he wanted to. She reached over and shakily poured two more cups of sake. Something told her she'd need another.

Ranma smiled to himself ruefully, saluted Akane without looking at her, and drank again. She followed suit, with much less coughing this time. _Seems to be getting the hang of it_. He shook his head sadly. _Kind of a shame that I'm such a pro._

'So,' Ranma finally wrote, 'the kid survived, but wouldn't be the same again. I kind of broke his spirit. I'

This time Akane had expected the abrupt pause, and on an impulse put her hand on Ranma's back. He flinched away from her touch, but she persisted, rubbing his back encouragingly. She hoped it was encouraging. She could feel his scars through the shirt…

'I spent some time in a mental hospital.' Akane _refused_ to let herself gasp again. The world had started to get a bit fuzzy, and she shook her head to clear it. No more sake, that stuff was potent. She continued rubbing, treating the contact as an anchor to the real world, whatever that was. '…I was sedated the first day, you know, just in case I was still dangerous. After that they started the therapy, and anger management, and all that. A few months later I was out of there, but I wasn't the same. I'll never be the same. I was angry. I'm very, very angry.

'Why was _I_ the one who had to go to a mental hospital? Why did _I _get in trouble? The other kid was the one who had been teasing me! It was _Hiro_ who had been at fault, who had thrown the first punch!

'But I was just making excuses. I knew what I'd done. I knew how terrible I was. It was a long two months, filled with contemplation and regret. Which is really hard for a middle-schooler, let me tell you. I was still angry.

'Angry at the world, for letting people like Hiro exist. Angry at father, for the Neko-Ken. Angry at the doctors, for making me talk to therapists. But most of all, most of all I was angry at myself. For being so God damned weak.

'I was – and am – filled with revulsion for myself. Everything I am is _disgusting_. From the terrible, ugly scars that cover my body to the horrid way I treat others around me. There is nothing about me that I like, there is nothing about me that I can look to and say, "Hey, at least I've got that." Nothing.'

Akane had tears in her eyes, but held her tongue. She wasn't going to mess this up by interrupting.

'Even my martial arts are tainted. You saw how I reacted with Ryoga. I… I'm a monster, Akane. I'm the worst thing to ever despoil the face of this earth.

'But you want to know something really strange? I've been thinking these past few days. Yesterday in particular. I've decided not to give up. Which, by itself, is pretty amazing. I'm awful good at running away from hard things.

'I don't know why. I don't know what's changed, I really don't. But I'm not giving up anymore. I'm not going to let this stupid fucking world beat me. Not father, not Ryoga, not even myself. I may hate myself, but I'm still _me_, and Ranma Saotome doesn't lose. Never. Not even to himself.

'The… you're a good person, Akane. I don't know why you're hanging around me. I don't really care, either. It's nice to have a… if not friend yet, than at least someone who doesn't run away. Or I guess I should say someone who won't be driven away by my stupidity. I'm pretty good at forcing other people away.

'Thanks. That's it, I guess. And for future reference, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm me, and I'm sorry that I'm going to say and do things that will make you mad, or hurt you, or confuse you. I'm sorry that I'm going to fuck everything up in my life, like I always do, and maybe even push you out of my life.

'But tonight, here, _now_, I'm thankful. I'm thankful that you're you.'

Ranma looked at his hand, at the now-nubby piece of chalk contained therein. _Guess I did it, huh?_ He took a deep breath, cocked back his arm and threw it over the edge of the roof, then looked up at the stars. _I can't look at you right now, Akane. I'm sorry. I'm still so weak_.

Akane Tendo had lost the battle with her tears. They were flowing freely down her face, and she bunched her hand in Ranma's shirt. She might have scratched him, but she couldn't stop crying. She held onto Ranma shirt with an iron grip. How could someone so damaged exist? How could one person be put through so much, put himself through so much? _Why_ did he have to hurt so terribly? She let out a pained sob and turned to bury her face in Ranma's chest. Oh, God, why?

_What?!_ Suddenly there was a sobbing girl hanging on him, and Ranma was supremely confused. _What's going on, here?_ He tentatively wrapped a single arm around Akane and started to rub her back, much in the same way she had done for him. Ranma could smell the foul stench of sake from her. _She's drunk. That explains it._ More pity.

It took a few minutes for Akane to get her crying under control. Her head was muddled as she pulled back from Ranma and wiped her eyes with her sleeves. "I'm sorry, Ranma, I know you don't want me ruining your shirt." He shook his head awkwardly.

"Listen, Ranma." She'd dried her eyes and was looking up at the boy, silhouetted against the stars. "I… I'm not too good at life either. I'm clumsy and stubborn, and impulsive and angry. I'm not so different from you." A smile touched her lips, ever so briefly. "Maybe that's why I understand you so well. Or think I do," she added hastily. Didn't want to offend him.

"I know I can't fully understand what you've gone through, or any of your feelings. But I'll try. I'll try to be a good friend, and to be there for you when you need someone to talk to." The liquor had loosened her tongue far too much. Even such a small amount loosened her inhibitions enough to let slip out, "Who knows? We might even fall in love someday."

As she heard herself say those words she blushed, mortified. What was she saying?! "A-Anyway," continued Akane quickly, "what I'm trying to say is that I'm bad at this, too, but I'll try. And I'm sorry if I ever do something to hurt you, or make you mad, or whatever. It's not on purpose."

Ranma heard Akane's words and looked up at the stars. Not because he was embarrassed, or touched, but because he was sad. Skeptical. And maybe a little hopeful. _You'll never fall in love with me, Akane. Don't kid yourself._ But maybe there was a chance they'd be friends. Maybe.

He reached for his chalkboard once more, and a fresh piece of chalk. 'More sake?'

"No! God, no!" Akane noticed the mischievous smile on Ranma's face and blushed. "Don't make fun of me! I don't drink as much as you!"

'Fine, then, we'll have to do this more often. Say, in a month?'

A month? Akane smiled to herself. "All right, in a month. It's a date." She glanced at Ranma, and could make out a small blush on his features. She laughed delightedly. "Aah, see? I can tease you, too!"

The two friends laughed together before Ranma lay flat on his back, with another cup of sake. 'You ever just look at the stars, Akane?'

"No, I don't usually take the time." When she did look - really _look_ - the sky above her was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Small specks of white light shining through holes in a dark blue canvas.

Ranma lay back and let the familiar haze of liquor wash over him. A small smile slipped through his defenses and manifested itself on his face. He suppressed that quickly. _No worries, I don't think she saw. _The girl sitting next to him continued to stare up at the stars. _Nope. Still good._

_Gorgeous. Stars, so far away, giving their light to us tonight, to look at and be amazed. Millions of miles and thousands of years, just to shine down on us this night, to let me know that there's more out there. There's more to this universe than I can see._ A sigh escaped, but again Akane didn't notice.

They sat there for a long time, just admiring the night sky.

Eventually, the chill started to get to Ranma. _Time to go in, I think._ The boy stood and offered Akane a hand, who smiled and took it gently.

The clock struck midnight and a new day began.

* * *

HEY. HEY, YOU. YEAH, YOU, READING THERE.

Wanna be a proofreader? (Or beta reader or whatever terminology you want to use.) I need 'em. _Badly_.

I'm looking for people who can proof my work. And by that I mean all of my work. Not just this story, but any other stories that I might be writing (read: I also need help with my other stories). So if you're interested and you have a good grasp of story mechanics including: grammar, characterization, story flow, voice, and all the rest of that rot, please send me a PM through my author page. I would be oh so appreciative.

As for notes, I don't have a lot to say. These characters are developing in my mind as I write, so I'm just as surprised as you are when stuff happens. I look at what I've written and say, "Oh, well that's interesting."

Remember to tip your waitresses and bartenders.

~A Depraved Sociopath with Psychotic Tendencies


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